Judge, 1911-09-30 · page 21 of 23
Judge — September 30, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and light humor**, typical of Judge's format. The left column contains brief joke items ("Flash Lights") on varied topics—coal delivery mishaps, barber upselling, romantic misfortune—with no political content. These are generic, timeless gags. The dominant content is **two full-page advertisements**: Schlitz beer (emphasizing purity, sanitation, and brown bottles) and I.W. Harper whiskey (claiming historical prestige). A smaller tobacco-cessation product ad appears below. The single cartoon at top-left depicts what appears to be a **lawyer or court counselor questioning a nervous witness** about marital status, with the witness humorously claiming to be "unmarried three times" (implying multiple divorces). The joke relies on the legal absurdity of the phrase. **For modern readers**: This reflects pre-Prohibition advertising and period humor conventions. The Schlitz ad's emphasis on sanitation reflects early-20th-century marketing around food safety. The witness cartoon satirizes legal proceedings and marital instability, concerns of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ok was rt” ) avoid her so rht she Tran. rmists sident Mexico —Mil- cher— detain jj 0-day —“Of } under- if any es ol me in ou are or it.” pinion, —Mis- ging -*You marks vages? | auch,” h, bot er of “Did any- - Sor I was 4"— thirty And r= ft} Counsel (TO NERVOUS WITNESS)—“ MARRIED OR UN- oY” Witeess—" ER—UNMARRIED THREE TIMES.”—London pinion, HARVESTED. Flash Lights. Yesterday we heard the sweet music of hard coal in the chute. But it headed into a neighbor’s cellar. Good luck usually sticks pretty close || to hard work. Awise man not only knows when to | keep still, but he does it. Flattery is twice as sweet to an old |] woman. —Detroit Free Press. A Life Shaver.—‘‘What was the best job you ever did?” inquired the first barber. | “I once shaved a man,”’ replied the | second ditto; ‘‘then I persuaded him to have a hair-cut, singe, shampoo, face massage, sea foam, electric buzz, tar spray, and finally a tonic rub.’’ {| “What then?” |) “By that time,’’ concluded barber No. 2, “he needed another shave.’’—Chris- F Advocate. Buy One, Anyway.—‘‘Buy flower for llyour wife, sir.’” “Haven't one.’" “For your sweetheart.” “Haven't one.’” “For your best girl, then.’” “Haven't one.’” “Since you’re so lucky, then at least buy one for yourself.’’—Fliegende Blaet- ter. A Glib Tongue.—Customer—‘‘Can you pecommend this as a good blood puri- jer?” Druggist—‘‘ Madam, one bottle of that would cure the eruptions of Mount Vesu- vius.""—Boston Transcript. The Old Habit.—‘‘How did Congress- man Wombat acquit himself in the con- gressional ball match?” “He struck out twice and then got | leave to print a base hit.”"—Louisville | } Courier-Journal. Tobacco Habit Banished DR. ELDERS' TOBACCO BOON BANISHES all forms of Tobacco Habit in 72 to 120 hours, A posl- tive, quick and permanent relief. Eaay to take. No craving for Tobacco after the first dose. One three bores for all ordinary cases. We guaran- o Wee results in every case or refund money. Send for car free booklet giving full information, | Eiders’ Sanatarium, Dept.13 St. Joseph, Mo i Schlitz was brewed first in a hut over sixty years ago. Now our output exceeds a million barrels a year, Our agencies dot the earth. More and more people every year are demand- ing Schlitz—Schlitz in Brown Bottles. In our brewery we spend more on purity—in time—in skill— in money—than on any other cost in our brewing. We scald every tub, keg and barrel—every pipe and pump — every time we use it. We wash every bottle four times by machinery. Even the air, in which the beer is cooled, is filtered. If you knew what we know about beer, you would say ‘‘ Schlitz— Schlitz in Brown Bottles.” Sefbely ‘a The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous “I. W. HARPER” Whiskey Has stood the test of time and won universal popu- lar approval. Oldest and most famous in the world. Leading Dealers Everywhere. : Bernheim Distilling Co., Incorporate ‘Louisville, Ky. Order a case from your dealer teday. See that crown or cork it branded ‘‘Schlitz.” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com