Judge, 1911-09-23 · page 18 of 26
Judge — September 23, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This **Judge magazine page** contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Top cartoon**: "Flying Wedding Rings" depicts figures suspended from rings—a visual pun on the phrase "flying the coop" or escaping marriage, satirizing reluctance to matrimony. **Main articles**: - "Q.E.D." uses pseudo-logical argument to defend society women's beauty against servants, citing Kipling's famous line about class similarity ("colonel's lady and Judy O'Grady are sisters under their skins") to absurdly prove the opposite. - "Gallantry" mocks male duplicity: a naval officer agrees to use water instead of wine for a battleship christening to appease temperance activists, then immediately orders the wine back for the private celebration—satirizing hollow promises to reform movements. **Smaller pieces** include verse humor and brief jokes about romantic mishaps and seasickness. The page exemplifies Judge's blend of social commentary, gentle mockery of gender relations, and jabs at hypocrisy among the genteel classes and political advocates.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DDING \“ - fants ¥ Quy Gallantry. IR,"’ says the spectacled lady to the commandant of the shipyard, ‘I Meaningless. VERY little movement has a mean- own." ONSIDERABLE publicity has been given, of late, to the assertion that ing of i the maids and other female servants of society women are much better looking than the society women them- selves. JUDGE proposes to refute this statement and show its fal- lacy by quoting from the highest authorities. Our esteemed Mr. Kipling says, ‘‘The colonel’s lady and Judy O’Grady are sisters under their skins,"’ thereby inferring that their skins are not the same. “Beauty is only skin deep” is an old, time-tried saying. Now, as beauty is only skin deep and as society women are beautiful, or at least good-looking, and as the skin of society women is dif- ferent from that of the maids, therefore it follows that society women, symbolized by the colo- nel’s lady, are better looking than the Judy O'Gradys who min- ister to their wants. Q. E. D. A Well-known Fact. By WILLIAM J. LAMPTON. LITTLE drops of water Little grains of sand’ Make the mighty ocean And the beauteous land. Little drops of ocean, Little lots of land Make the men who sell seaside real estate Awful rich and grand. Go. cash ‘doesn’ 't last long in hot weather. ‘Well, don’t move and you won't mean anything.”” WEEP NOT, GENTLE LADY The lady let me weep.”” The knight—"* “And art thou truly going to the war? Then By my halidom ! dry thy tears, fair one, or thou wilt get me all rusty.’ understand you are going to christen a new battleship this morning."’ “We are, madam. Would you like to attend the’? —— “I call, sir, as the chairman of a committee representing ten mil- lion temperance women, and we firmly ask you not to use wine for the christening. We urge that you use water instead."’ “I will grant your request, madam,”’ gallantly replies the officer. ‘‘See, here is the bottle of wine we had planned to use. For it we will substitute, as you wish, a bottle of pure water."” After the happy woman has de- parted, he summons an orderly and says, ‘Put that bottle of wine back on the ice. Now we'll not run short at the little dinner in cele- bration of the launching."” Retriever. HE THREW a kiss at him— The pretty, tricksy elf! And then, with eager vim, He brought it back himself. The Reason. Passenger (on big ocean liner) —<‘*What’s the matter, captain? Can’t we land?"’ Captain—*Not now. The sea is horribly rough below here. There’s a bunch of kids in swim- ming around the bend."’ comicbooks.com