Judge — September 23, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1. The artist—* My dear Miss Millions, you are standing right Won't you —— in front of the greatest joke in Europe ! pression; but we haven't an Aunt Janie, and when I asked what he meant, he said, ‘*Look in the dictionary under ‘i-n- g-e-n-u-e.’"" Grown-ups ere always falling back on the dictionary. Where was I? Oh, yes! Bud said to the doc- tor, real noble, “T know who did it, but I don’t want to tell."’ And, of course, Dr. Hamel said, “You are right, my boy, perfectly right. Always do as you are doing now and your parents will be proud of you."" So Bud didn’t crack a smile when Harold was putting on his hat with the eggs in it. Then they called “Ready!"’ and the other boys came running and looking all sorts of places, and Harold grinned in his smarty wa and said they were cold as Greenland. Well, they hunted till Ned Goakes couldn't stand Harold's smartness any longer, and he came up to him and said, “Whew! you must have found a good place!"’ and gave him a good crack on the head just where he could see the eggs were. Of course the eggs smashed and dripped down into Harold's eyes and face and neck and over his clothes, and all the boys yelled, ‘‘Addle-pate!"" and Bud said, ‘‘ Will you ever call Sis a tomboy again?” But Harold didn't say anything; he was too busy wiping the egg off his face. One hand- kerchief doesn’t go very far with two eggs. I guess the Sprowles don’t buy the best eggs, either. Of course they had to tell dad about Bud taking the eggs, and dad gave Bud a strapping. But I heard him telling mother that he'd rather have given him a dollar and that the Sprowles had no sense of humor. Dad always says « wha position does Wilde Duck play bear. And Bud said that all the time he was taking his medicine—that’s what he calls it—he was thinking how funny IP LOVE MAKES THE WORD GO ROUND—HENCE THE ONLY PERPETUAL MOTION. WHERE HE STARS ‘allback, halfback that about people he can’t “ Why, er—a canvas back." Yaen ete, or quarterback ?"" ” 3. —— kindly step aside long enough for the reader to enjoy IT ?"” Harold looked with the egg dripping down his fancy collar, and he scarcely minded the strapping a bit. Matrimonial Notes. By CHARLES ¢ H, HIGH his head he carried! He laughed to hear men say, “T note that you are married. And he was gay. But though it pleased him greatly, At length he only sighed; For he has been, but lately, Reno-tified. How Did They Manage? DAM did his gardening without a seed catalogue. Noah had no storm warning from the United States Weather Bureau. Columbus hadn't any tennis court on his trip across. Napoleon crossed the Alps without gasoline. Wellington won Waterloo minus a film apparatus. Shakespeare course in playwrighting. Handel had no studio in Tin Pan Alley. Raphael missed the inspiration of Sunday art supplements. Keppler discovered no Broadway stars. Henry VIII. about Reno. Ben Franklin neither sent nor received a motto post-card. Washington could not shout, “T cannot tell a lie!’ into a phonograph. — —Frederict Moxon. High-water Mark. HERE'S a time of tide In the affairs of men When women flood in And it ebbs again. — der Cone JONES. never took a mail didn’t know 6éT)ID HE marry her for her money?” “No; for her father’s.’’ comicbooks.com