Judge, 1911-09-16 · page 19 of 28
Judge — September 16, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story by Ellis Parker Butler satirizes early 20th-century "scientific" parenting theories that rejected physical punishment in favor of psychological persuasion. **The Setup:** Mr. Gimp discovers his son Sammy smoking cornsilk with a neighbor boy. Rather than spanking him (the traditional method), Gimp employs modern parenting advice he's read—appealing to reason instead of using the woodshed. **The Satire:** Butler mocks the pretension of these new theories. Gimp's approach—buying real cigars and asking rhetorical questions like "Did you ever see a man smoke cornsilk?"—is presented as absurdly indirect and ineffectual compared to old-fashioned discipline. **The Humor:** The contrast between Gimp's violent initial impulse ("I'll make him smoke!") and his forced gentleness reveals the tension between traditional and modern parenting philosophies. The story suggests that intellectual parenting methods, while well-intentioned, miss the point of actual discipline. The railroad-crossing cartoon at top appears unrelated—a memento mori safety warning.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
eetHie A SUGGESTION FOR A SIGNPOST AT THE RAILROAD CROSSINGS. HE THIRD of Au- gust, you will re- member, was a hot day, and Mr. Gimp reached his home in a testy humor. The heat of his of- fice, with the fumes of antiseptics from the hospital across the way, had given himva slight head- ache, and when he stepped inside his door he was ready to eat any one that said an annoying word. “My dear,’’ said Mrs. Gimp, as soon as Mr. Gimp was in the hallway, ‘I must tell you about Sammy’’—— ‘‘What’s he been doing now? What's Don’t stand there like Tell me! he been up to? a wooden Indian, Mrs. Gimp! I say, tell me!’" Ravenofal = “HEY, MR. ROOSTER! WOULD ¥OU MIND MAK- ING A LITTLE 1ES88 NOISE IN THE MORNING? MY DOILY 18 SUPFERING PROM INSOMNIA.” FIXING SAMMY. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER, Autber of Pigs Ir Pigs.” “This afternoon,” said Mrs. Gimp calmly, ‘I happened to go into the yard, and what do you think I saw?”’ “That's it!"’ said Mr. Gimp. ‘Make me guess! You can’t tell me, can you? I’ye got to guess, haven’t I? You saw a hippopotamus. Was that it? Oh, I'll guess! You saw a red-nosed rhinoceros. You saw’’—— “I saw Sammy and that boy next door, hid- den behind the oak tree, smoking cornsilk in a cob pipe, my dear,” said Mrs. Gimp. ‘‘And you know what that means. Cigarettes next. Cigars next.’’ **Where’s that boy?"’ asked Mr. Gimp angrily. “Smoking, was he? Smoking? I’11 make him smoke! I'll""—— “‘Dearest,’’ said Mrs. Gimp, ‘‘you know how delicate he is. You won't be rough with him?’’ “Rough?” said Mr. Gimp. ‘‘Do you mean to tell me, Mrs. Gimp, that Iam ever rough? Do you mean to say I’m not consistent, Mrs. Gimp? Rough!’’ “You are always very gentle, dear,’’ said Mrs. Gimp, and Mr. Gimp smiled. For he had read, in various books and magazines, just how to handle the young child. Hg had theories, He did not take the young child into the woodshed and wallop it. That was not his way. The scientific way is the appeal to rea- Mr. Gimp put on his hat and went out. He went to the corner store and purchased two big, fat, oily, black cigars. Then he went home and called son. LONG DISTANCE, “‘Sammy,"’ he said firmly but kindly, “‘your mother tells me you were smok- ing cornsilk this afternoon.” “Yes, sir,’’ said Sammy. and’’—— “Just so!’’ said Mr. Gimp. ‘‘Corn- silk! Did you ever see me smoke corn- silk? Did you ever see a man smoke cornsilk?’” “No, sir,’’ said Sammy. “Indeed, no!" said Mr. Gimp. “Me “We comicbooks.com