Judge, 1911-09-09 · page 13 of 24
Judge — September 9, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American society: **Main cartoon ("Dick, the Philosopher")**: A comic monologue in Irish-American dialect where a tenement dweller rambles endlessly about Mrs. Maloney's circumstances—her friend's job loss, insurance payments, recent move to Brooklyn. The satire mocks working-class gossip culture and the stereotype of Irish immigrants as verbose, chatty neighbors who provide unsolicited information. **"It May Be" essay**: Satirizes wealthy magnates like J.P. Morgan who obsessively collect art and antiquities. The piece mockingly suggests collecting old treasures occupies the "leading citizens" while suggesting they should finish this hobby so society can attend to "minor details of existence"—a barbed critique of elite collecting mania. **Other bits**: Include puns ("Mother Goose" parody about office workers), observations on furniture design, and domestic humor about marriage expenses. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical stance against both immigrant working-class culture and wealthy American collector elites.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Dick, the philosopher—"t DON'T BELIEVE 17.” you be so good as to tell me just how to find Mrs. Maloney?” “If it’s anny wan to go out by de day as acuk, yeez wud do betther to spake a few wur-ruds wid Norah O'Callaghan, onde foorth flure back. She's an iligant mate cuk an’ has just lost her job ina restyrant by r’ason av de woman dyin’ thot owned de restyrant an’ not bein’ able to run it no longer on thot account. While Oi am a fri’nd av Judy Maloney’s, she’s not wan Oi, wud recommend as a mate cuk nor’’—— “I am not looking for any kind of a cook, but’’—— “If yeez want Judy to tek out in- shoorance on herself an’ her ould man an’ de childer, Oi can tell yeez thot she’s payin’ a dollar an’ tin cints a wake now on inshoorance, an’ it isn’t loikely thot she wud add more to it whin her ould man isn’t wur-rukin’ stiddy an’ he’’—— “I guess that I'll have to look else- where for information in regard to Mrs. Maloney’s tenement.”” “Luk at thot, now! An’ me only waitin’ for de opporchunity av tellin’ yeez thot Judy Maloney was movin’ only yestiday to a tini- mint over in Brooklyn! If ye’d a bit o’ patience, yang man, ye'd foind out t’ings sooner an aisier.’’ Speak Up! NE question brief— Who is there knows Why chairs have arms, But no elbows? The Meaning. “TQ VERY little movement has a meaning all its own.”” “‘And sometimes when you move it means that you can’t pay your rent.’” More Mother Goose. D)ICKORY, dickory, dock: A clerk looked at the clock. The habit grew; A ‘can’ he drew— Dickory, dickory, dock. Bunco bug—“ HAVE NO PEAR, GENTLEMEN ; STEP RIGHT UP AND PLAY. THIS GAME 18 ON THE square.” It May Be. by ELLIS 0. JONES Tt 1S quite possible that all these old art works and manuscripts and vol- umes and potteries and hieroglyphics should be collected. Who shall say nay to a work that occupies so much of the time and energy of our leading citizens and magnates. It may be that all the buried treasures of the past should be dug up and reburied in private museums. Let us, therefore, go ahead and get through with the work. If any one knows of anything which is not yet col- lected, let him at once notify Mr. Mor- gan or some other competent connois- seur. This matter should be disposed of, so that we may turn our attention to the minor details of existence. Tar Mary’s lamb is popular We'll surely all avow, And yet a close competitor Is Burgess'’s Purple Cow. BITTER MEMORY. Mrs. B.'s husband—" Who was that lady I bowed to?"" “You know very well who she was, sir. It's that hussy who won all our prizes in last season's euchre.’’ The Exception. Bilton (angrily)-——"*You ask for noth- ing but dress, dress, dress!’" Mrs. Bilton (indignantly)—‘* Henry Bilton, Ido not! 1 asked you only last week for a new handbag.”” ‘OOL’S gold is a whole lot better than no gold at all. comicbooks.com