Judge, 1911-08-19 · page 10 of 24
Judge — August 19, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous pieces satirizing American society circa early 1900s: **"We Are Seven"** (top left): A parody of Wordsworth's poem where a "resolution" (likely a New Year's resolution to be virtuous) explains why it has failed. Its seven components have each disappeared through moral failings: one visited a saloon, another gambled, another defaulted on bills, one "cussed," another made risky Wall Street investments. The joke mocks how easily good intentions collapse under temptation—a commentary on human weakness and vice. **"Say When!" cartoon** (top): Two boys with what appears to be beer bottles—one spraying the other. The title suggests excess or loss of control, satirizing drinking culture. **Other pieces** include light humor about summer romance, a war reminiscence, and domestic comedy about bargain-hunting wives misunderstanding their husbands' words. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to contemporary American failings: moral weakness, financial speculation, drinking, and consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
We Are Seven. By McLANDBURGH WILSON. MET a resolution good, As pure and white as heaven; I asked, ‘‘How many may you be?”” It answered, ‘‘We are seven. “One brother went to a saloon And never more was seen, And one who had a little game Lies in the churchyard green. “One brother ran a little bill; I never saw him more. Another, who got up too late, I know has gone before. “Then still another cussed a bit And vanished from our gaze, While one a Wall Street flyer took And walks no more these ways.”” “Then you alone are left!’ I cried, “The rest have gone to—heav- en!” But still the resolution wept And answered, ‘‘We are sev- en.” “MY LINES may have fallen in pleasant places,”’ re- marked the summer girl, ‘‘but I haven't had a nibble."’ “SAY WHEN!" A REMINISCENCE OF THE WAR. Fifty years ago to-day ‘‘ Captain "’ Silas Scroggins of our city guarded a lonely, outlying post from an hour before dawn until almost midnight, and successfully prevented marauders from cutting a ‘‘line'' which, he declares, was of immense strategic importance at the time. By JOHN NORTHERN RILLIARD, Ls tiger lily told the rose, Who told the columbine; The daisy told the buttercup, The willow told the pine; The violet told the marigold, Who whispered to the phlox; The jonquil made a jest of it, Which shocked the hollyhocks. And thus the story passed along, From flower to vine and tree, Until it reached the eager ears Of a marauding bee. The buzzing gossip told a crow, And he—the blatant cad !— Made public how the peeping moon Once saw the lily pad. Marked “Down.” Mrs. Guyer—Where are you going? Another bargain?” Mrs. Buyer—‘‘Yes, indeed! John told me this morning that half the elevators in Smither's department store are marked down."* A Poser. Father—‘‘Well?”" Tommy—‘‘Is a centipede a trotter or a pacer?” comicbooks.com