Judge — August 5, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IP WOMEN'S CHATELAINE HANDLES GET ANY LONGER THE GIRLS WILL HAVE 70 TRY THIS METHOD OP CARRYING THEM. UPID is an overfed juvenile de- linquent, who spends his time prowling around stirring up hearts and trouble, instead of posing for baby-food adv. pictures, at which vocation he could earn an honest living. Apparently a vagrant, nobody knoweth what he liveth on, for it was long since demonstrated that one cannot live on love alone; ‘one’ nay, not even when the was originally two who fondly believed that in union there was strength enough to rustle up a square meal. Circum- stantial evidence seemeth to indicate that Cupid is em- ployed by the diamond trust to stimulate the trade in soli- taires. If so, his salary ought to be a princely one. A traitor to his sex is this depraved youth, Even while a man looketh at a woman and thinketh that she is the limit, Cupid stabbeth him in the back. And, lo! the wound- ed one taketh her in his arms and beseecheth her to be his, for better or worse — yea, though he realizeth in his heart that it is for worse, for he knoweth that she, being a woman, would look better if she could. Lost to all sense of shame, Cupid scorneth the conven- tions and steppeth from his bathtub onto Broadway, with- out a change of costume. Yet he getteth not pinched York. CUPID, By TERRELL that a policeman may have wisdom equal to his girth; for Cupid is woman's idol, and the suffragette movement groweth stronger daily. A heartless practical joker, Cupid leadeth May into the snows of December, and snickereth in his quiver—in lieu of a sleeve—when she frosteth her feet. LOVE HOLLIDAY. S 5 THE NEW YORK-BOSTON MARKET. Professor—'* Remember, brown eggs for Boston, white eggs for New Student —'* Well, professor, isn't it possible to make an egg half white Having only one string on his own bow, Cupid enableth a girl to have many beaus on her string. Great is the power of Cupid, and dia- bolically doth he use it. He causeth the celibate to forswear his celibacy, and the benedict to swear at his vows, With a prick of his dart he maketh the sane man insane, or secureth for the crazy bachelor a keeper. Man, smarting with the sting of Cupid’s arrow, vow- eth toannihilatehim; yet the sharpshooting little guerrilla goeth mischievously on his way, unharmed. Yea, verily, for love may be killed, but Cupid is immortal. True. DEEP mysteries Are round about— Some inns we know Are always ‘‘out.’”” Whah She Was Bo'n. Lawyer (examining middle- aged negro woman as a wit- ness)—‘‘Madam, did I under- stand you to say your daughter was born in wedlock?” Witness—‘‘No, sah; Inevah said she was bo’n in wedlock; I said she was bo'n in Hah- udsbu’g, Kaintecky."” . Get Set. ‘0 BUILD a subway, now and then, Would be a surprise to a host of men. by the police, which showeth and half brown? You see, I live half way between those places."’ comicbooks.com