Judge, 1911-08-05 · page 5 of 27
Judge — August 5, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical poems and a cartoon. "The Bachelor Speaks" mocks unmarried men's nostalgia. "Good Business" jokes about a man's wife's jewelry business. "The Crab Dance" humorously describes a dignified man's awkward dancing. The main cartoon depicts a "Mission Airy Ship" — likely satirizing missionary work or colonial ventures. A man sits above indigenous peoples, surrounded by papers and supplies, presumably "civilizing" or converting them. The caption "Let the Heathen Rage: The day of missionary eating is ending, thanks to science" suggests skepticism toward missionary efforts, implying that modern science renders such missions obsolete or ineffective. "The Shameless Chauffeur" satirizes an impertinent car driver. The overall tone is irreverent toward social institutions and progress claims.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Bachelor Speaks. (Rondeau.) By ROBERT NORMAN. LAS! alack! How time does fly! How swift the brief years hurry by, With clamor and contention rife! So much we miss—save tears and strife— And still a bachelor am I! Ofttimes I heave a lonely sigh, Knowing a grief that will not die— A grief that cuts me like a knife— Alas! alack! Yet if I were no longer shy And dared to ask a maiden why She would not gladden my poor life, Should she say ‘* Yes" and be my wife, Then to my wealth I’d say good-by — A lass—a lack! Good Business. «¢QWAGGER has money, hasn’t he?"’ “Loads of it."” ‘*What business is he in?’’ “His wife’s.”’ No Returns. Miss Summergirl—The men all wanted me to return their rings, but I refused to do it.’’ Miss Younge—‘‘Aren’t you afraid you will be arrested for robbing the males?” T IS HARD to convince a man suffer- ing in the cold gray dawn of the morning after that two heads are better than one. LET THE HEATHEN RAGE. ”, The Crab Dance. By CHARLES IRVIN JUNKIN. HE IS dignified and stately, He is noble in his mien, His movements are as graceful, And his countenance serene; But when he went in bathing, Oh, you should have seen the show! When a naughty little crablet Made a partner of his toe! The Shameless Chauffeur. HE CHAUFFEUR loose And honked his horrid horn, While sufferers all along the route put poultices on their ears and tried to find some excuse Why he was ever born. let his cut-out MISSION AIRY SHIP The day of missionary eating is ending, thanks to science. comicbooks.com