Judge — July 29, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PHILOSOPHER'S NOTEBOOK. HE self-made man is generally stuck on his job. Even an upright piano may issue a false note occasion- ally, Never judge a girl's riches by the purse of her lips. The trouble with modesty is that most people are shy on it. Men may come and men may go, but widows go on forever. No creditor has ever been known to criticise a man for marrying for money. Fannie—"' 1 like Jonny best Annie—"' Ob, I like Willie best. Compiled by HORACE DODD GASTIT. The lap of luxury is never secure when it rests on the knees of chance. Those who worship the leisurely rich bow down to the idle of mammon. It is always well to do your best as long as it isn't your best friend. Love may be blind, but he has notable powers of perception when it comes to second sight. The trouble with most men’s ideals is that in the long run they turn out to be misdeals. The great trouble with opportunity is that she so seldom knocks at the door while the wolf is there. The Lord does not help those who help themselves to other people’s money after the grand jury gets busy. The attention of nature fakers is called to the fact that when the wolf appears at the door he generally has a bill. When a woman asks you to guess her age, divide her face value by two, and the chances are she will tell you you are right. It sometimes happens that a man who is at his wits’ ends to make both ends meet can make a fair living at writing BEGINNING YOUNG. He's the treasurer." He's the captain of the team.” comicbooks.com