Judge, 1911-07-22 · page 10 of 24
Judge — July 22, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Cats and Dogs"** by G.T. Evans presents cynical aphorisms comparing pet behavior to human nature—suggesting dogs are unreliable, cats more honest, and that pet ownership reveals character flaws. The opening cartoon shows a married couple where the wife suggests her husband would've been "a good husband" to someone else, mocking marriage dissatisfaction. **"Modern Mother Goose"** by George F. Staff presents a dark nursery rhyme about a crooked businessman who commits fraud and forgery—contemporary satire on Wall Street corruption and white-collar crime. **"The Abandoned Cats of Summer"** (illustration with calendar) depicts street cats abandoned when families vacation, anthropomorphizing mice celebrating their absence. **"Distillations"** offers cynical social commentary on etiquette, reputation, and hypocrisy—notably that "Liberty" is personified as feminine "because so many men are pursuing her." **"Modern Customs"** satirizes upper-class pretense: families who can't afford dinner entertainments borrow silver, which guests steal as souvenirs. Overall, the page reflects early-20th-century Judge's sardonic critique of American social hypocrisy and materialism.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
wow! “['m sorry I ever married you.’ “You ought to be. You did some nice girl out of a good husband." Cats and Dogs. By G. T. EVANS TROKING strange cats is gambling. A watch dog has nothing to do with a dog watch. He who buys a dachshund is bound to get a long. 'Tis not that dogs like col- lars more, but cuffs less. All dogs that perform on the stage are not dog stars. Blame your watch dog or muzzle him, but don’t do both. Neither a street dog nor a woman's dog knows a mas- ter’s voice. Trust not the man whose dog hears his whistle but doesn’t come. The tails of cats and dogs are more truthful than the tongues of men. He who runs for a tree does not feel that a dog is man’s best friend. Kennels are not generally needed for the pointers our friends give us. A canine with his tail be- tween his legs is never on the way to a dog fight. A bull dog does not always love the man to whom he may be firmly attached. All the shepherd dogs in creation could not take care of one Wall Street lamb. An ordinary dog can be trained to walk on two feet, A but a sea dog cannot be taught to per- ambulate on four. The man who look the eye is not the creature who poisoned you straight in your dog. [s felisfialis! | fisfisjisfielt Men who have been successfully Hett7 [islr9 feoler a2} feo lat 22{2s]2ale chased by savage canines are frequently able to bring joy and profit to tailors and surgeons. Envy stirs the fatty-degenerated heart of the pampered lap dog as he watches a free mongrel gnawing an ancient, sec- ond-hand bone. Modern Mother Goose. By GEORGE f. STAFF HERE was a crooked man, Who made a crooked pile, By working crooked dealings In very crooked style. THE ABANDONED CATS OF SUMMER He forged a crooked check, Chorus of mice—" Hurrah! hurrah! burrab ! Signed with a crooked pe The vacation months are here. The family go The bank refused to cash it— to the country and the cat is put on the street."” You know what happened then, Distillations. TICIPATION is the dream of which realization is NE THING even amiser the waking. Sometimes it is a nightmare. will cheerfully give— advice. A pint of common sense is worth a bushel of intel- lectual rot. Most people cannot dis- . tinguish between being well dressed and 1" dresse A man isn’t always known by his wife's company. It is easier to live down to a bad reputation than up to a good one. If you have the key to suc- ss, you won't have much troublein finding thekeyhole. Liberty has been personi- probably fied as feminin because so many men are pursuing her. “Going to bed with the ari- chickens" doesn’t nec ly mean being “coopec up. Modern Customs. Gramercy—‘We can’t af- ford to give a dinner in the house. Besides, we haven't the things.”” Mrs. Gramercy—"Pshaw! We can borrow the silver."’ Gramercy—'' Yes, and have the guests carry most of it away as souvenirs.’” cr WAS not very difficult for detectives to scent those thieves who stole $30,000 worth of perfumery. PRINTED BY REQUEST—NO JOKE. comicbooks.com