Judge, 1911-06-03 · page 23 of 24
Judge — June 3, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains brief satirical anecdotes and advertisements rather than political cartoons. The humor targets social pretension and regional stereotypes: **"Shooting Relics"** mocks Northern tourists and Southern entrepreneurship—a Black man describes fraudulently selling bullets embedded in trees as Civil War relics from the Battle of Lookout Mountain to Northern visitors. **"Bleached Blondes"** satirizes a college professor's claim that blonde women make better mothers, suggesting he should question whether he was jilted by a dark-haired woman—ironic commentary on his apparent bias. Other brief items joke about millionaires' endless requests, war correspondence, and a wife's skepticism about her husband needing a "rest cure." The prominent **Budweiser advertisement** features an eagle and claims the beer maintains "everlasting Quality, Purity, and Mildness." Other ads promote a "Liquid Pistol," tobacco cessation treatment, and Capon Bitters.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SCINTILLATIONS. Shooting Relics.—While in Chatta-| nooga a few weeks ago a local man} noticed an old colored man who carried his right arm in a sling. “What’s the matter, uncle?’’ he asked. ‘‘Is your arm broken?”’ “No, sah,"’ grinned the old man. “It’s jes gun sore.’” “Been hunting? “No, sah. Ah ben shootin’ trees.” “Oh, I see; target practice.’’ fo, sah. ‘hen you'll have to elucidate.’” “Well, sah, it’s like dis,’’ the old man explained. ‘*We goes out into de woods an’ shoots bullets into de trees. After a while de trees grows around de | bullets a little bit, den we cuts dem down to sell to people fum de Norf as relics ob de battle ob Lookout Moun- tain."” Youngstown Telegram. Also Bleached Blondes.—A college pro- | fessor elevates his voice to proclaim, | “Blondes make the best mothers. Bru- nettes are less patient, less forgiving, and more cruelly inclined. If a man} wishes to have his children surrounded | by the best environment, he should = . marry a blonde.” The’ fair-haired Th V H h t P t charmer to whom this erudite gentleman e ery ig es oO I n is now paying attentions should inquire if he was not jilted by a dark-haired woman.—Philadephia Press. kno to the Art of Modern Brewi RY tener | One More Request.—‘‘My present pa-| e 6 g tient,”’ said the pretty nurse, ‘‘is a pee- within every bottle of vish old millionaire.’’ “Never mind. He may ask you to marry him.”* | a4 “Yes, he may. He has about run out | of other requests.’’—Kansas City Jour-| a a a nal. The Mexican War.—‘‘Tough news from | “*The Old Reliable’’ the front,’’ said the magazine editor. “What is it?’” Our correspondent says we must send Brews will come and brews will go—have their little day—then vanish— Im some money If ‘we expect him. to but Budweiser goes on forever— everlasting Quality, Purity, remain.""—Louisville Courier-Journal. The Motion Is Lost.—Now that we and Mildness is the reason. have inaugurated a Mothers’ Day, let us keep up the good work by celebrating a ; Nother-in-law Day. ‘All those in favor Bottled only (with corks or crown caps) at the will signify by saying ‘‘yea."” The nays have it.-Milwaukee Sentinel Anheuser-Busch Brewery Hard on the Neighbors. —‘‘Sing for an St. Louis, Mo. hour every day," says a New York doc- ‘and you will never have indiges- But won’t the neighbors have | nervous prostration?—Pittsburgh Ga- zette-Times. Has Taken the Medicine.—Doctor—‘'I think the rest cure might be good for your husband.’” Wife-—*Oh, my, no! If that was any good, he would have been cured long ago!"’—Scranton Tribune. Rather Harsh.—‘*My cook is very eco- | . 4 a ee ee nomical in little things. For example, ‘ Hid, oe, H i “T should call that a grate saving.’’ DR. ELDERS’ TOBACCO BOON BANISHES all —Baltimore American. OUR DOMESTICS. forms of Tobacco Habit in 72 to 10 hours. A post- if. “That's a very startling hat you've bought, tive, quick and permanent relief. Eaay to take. Mary. Mo craving for Tobsoeo after the fret dose, One Caron! Bitters—Best Tonic and Appetizer. No “ isn't . to three boxes for all ordinary cases. Wo guaran- st Tonic a ppetizer. Yes, mum, isn'tit? If you'd like to bor- feo results in every case or refund money. Send comple ri . Samy rece ‘ t conta, Oct G. Blache & Con Broad St N.Y, tow it to make some of your friends jealous, you for our free booklet giving full information, Gen'l Distra. can have it!"” —London Opinion. ' Elders’ Sanatarium, Dept.t3 88. Joseph, Mo. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com