Judge — May 20, 1911 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fire Escapes. IRE escapes are iron contriv- ances fastened on the outside of buildings. They are put up under contract and may often be found without a guidebook to the building. They are blazes—sema- phores—to show that human lives in- side are in danger. A cautious person should never go inside a building where there are fire escapes. They are not put up by accident, as many suppose, but for definite reasons and are used for four purposes: 1. They relieve the monotony of a building by lending a touch of quaint- ness to the architectural scheme. 2. They may be used by a limited number of athletes who are capable of worming themselves out on them, for reviewing parades and processions. 3. They are placed at such a great height from the sidewalk that they are always a perplexing problem to burglars who desire to scale them. 4. They are a great technic: y evader, for, with one painted on his fac- tory, a factory owner can go home and sleep the sleep of the just, knowing that though a fire break out he cannot be held responsible. To an Editor. WHEN you, perchance, dear editor, Return to me my stuff, Please send me your regrets no more— My own are quite enough. Of Some Use. JUDGE from what they do, some men use their heads mostly for a hatrack. A BULL'S EYE. “* Look ‘im in the eye, old man, look ‘im in the eye!"’ Jones (outside) SOME CONSOLATION “Oh, Mary, I shall never, never, never get over it. “* Never mind, dear. nized and baffling conditions are interesting, if not always convincing. For many years statistics have warned us of the continuous tide moving from country to city and the tremendous social and economic problems thus involved. But it remained to Joseph Chapman, vice-president of the Northwestern Na- tional Bank, of ‘Minneapolis, to pick out the city girl as the moon which moves the tide. As there are not enough city —T > raed: eas A as, 2 Smith (desperately) —" Ob, [ hear you; but which eye, blame it, which eye?" He has just sent me a typewritten love letter."" He works his own typewriter.” The Lure of NOVEL explanations for long-recog- the City Girl. schools for all city-trained teachers, one finds the city girl in many a little red schoolhouse on the hill, drawing Hiram’s thoughts away from corn and cattle to the theaters and bright lights of the city. When school days are over, there comes the yet more impressionable sum- mer season, with the city girl on vaca- tion. If the demure schoolma’am sowed the seeds of discontent, the city vacation girl brings them to a ready harvest. The city girl may be a menace to our agricultural future and strike at the backbone of the country’s prosperity, but since country children must go to school, and since, moreover, the sum- mer boarder is a blessing, helping to swell the deposits in the village bank, JupGE awaits a solution of the proh- lem from Banker Chapman. A Barber-ous Idea. N CHICAGO e voice has been raised against the cat's whiskers, which are alleged to carry microbes. The future may develop barbers for cats, for it is not to be supposed that in this age of enlightenment and fads cats will be permitted to go about with microbe-laden whiskers. HARITY should begin at the home 7 next door. comicbooks.com