Judge, 1911-04-29 · page 22 of 26
Judge — April 29, 1911 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **advertisements page** from Judge magazine, with two brief humorous anecdotes interspersed. **The humor pieces:** 1. "What Spoiled the Coffee" — A servant's illogical explanation: she mixes coffee from three varieties (Mocha, Java, Rio) but refuses to add a fourth ingredient, claiming *that's* where people spoil coffee. The joke is her backwards reasoning. 2. "Where He Ought To Be" — An elderly man compliments an amateur actor (Mahlon Ivins Jr.), saying he should perform alongside famous actors Mansfield, Booth, and Irving. When "Shorty" protests those actors are dead, the old man replies he knows it and leaves. The joke: the compliment is actually an insult—he belongs with the dead. **The advertisements** promote luxury goods (Chartreaux liqueur, Cook's champagne, Blatz beer, Regina vacuum cleaners with "double pumps"), and Cortez cigars "for men of brains." These reflect early 20th-century consumer products targeting affluent readers. No political satire is present on this page.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Exquisite Cordial of the Centuries LIQUEUR Peres Ghartrewx —GREEN AND YELLOW— class Wine Merchants, Grocers. Hotels, Catt, Mijer & Cou, 45 liroadway, New Vork, N. Ye Sole Agents for United States. — —————} IMPERIAL Extra Dry The American Champagne has been served by discrim- inating hostesses in the best homes. Its purity, quality and flavor delight the crit- ical taste and ever affords exquisite FOR MEN OF BRAINS 1GARS. “MADE AT KEY WEST | What Spoiled the Coffee.—A family living in East Orange has a model serv- ant who has proved herself the best cook they ever had, but she has insisted upon making up all her dishes strictly accord- ing to her own recipes. ‘‘Margaret,’’ said the mistress, one day, ‘‘the coffee you are giving us is very good. What kind is it?” “It is no kind at all, mum,’’ was the reply. ‘‘It'’s a mixture."’ “Well, won’t you tell me how you mix it?’” “Sure, mum. I make it one-quarter Mocha, one-quarter Java, and one-quar- ter Rio. “Yes; but that is only three-quarters. What do you put in for the other quar- ter?” “Why, I put in no other quarter at all, mum. That’s where so many people spoil their coffee, mum, by puttin’ ina | fourth quarter, mum.’’—Success. Where He Ought To Be.—-Mahlon Ivins, Jr., of Merchantville, has a repu- tation as an acto. and takes part in nearly all of the local shows. In the last show that was given ‘‘Shorty’’ had one of the leading parts. After the show, while he was taking off his make-up, an.elderly man made his appearance in the doorway. “Are you Mr. Ivins?"! inquired the old man. “Yes,’’ replied ‘‘Shorty,’’ as he mo- tioned him to be seated. “‘Well,’’ the old man continued, ‘'I just want to tell you something. I've been watching your acting to-night. You should not be playing in this town; you should be with Mansfield, Booth, Irving, or Joe Jefferson.’’ ““W-w-why,’’ said ‘‘Shorty,’’ ‘‘those actors are dead! “IT know it,’’ said the old man, as he turned on his heel and left.—Philadel- phia Times. SO THERE 18 SOME TROUBLE INCIDENT TO HER POURING OP THE TEA. —Fliegende Blactter. FINEST BEER seurs for generations. Ask for it at the Clab, Cafe or Buffet. Insist on Blatz. invited direct. VAL ALATZ BREWING CO MILWAUKEE. WIS. PNEUMATIC CLEANERS ON’T STIR UP the dust by sweep- ing—REMOVE it with a lem REGINA cleaner--the vacuum cleaner with double pumps. — Does more work with less labor than any other—simplest, most satisfactory of all—made and guaranteed by the makers of the world-famous Regina Music Boxes. Light, strong, compact—moderate in price—beautiful in appearance. Electric or Hand operated models. Inquire of dealers or write us for particulars, Our interesting booklet “THE MAGIC WAND” beautifully illustrated incolor pre- gp sents the cleaning problem in an f original and fascinating reancer. Mailed on receipt of 2c stamp. The Regina Company Union Square, New York 221 Wabash Avenue Chi In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com