Judge — April 22, 1911 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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Diplomatic.— Baron—‘Did I hit the hare, gamekeeper ?"” Keeper—‘‘Ah, but the kind heart you have, your Highness! You have merci- fully spared his life.”"—Fliegende Blaet- ter. “It’s hard to live within one’s salary, but there’s one consolation--it’s harder to live without it.—Herald and Presbyter. Great Western Of the Six Ameri- can -Champagnes Exhibited, Great Western was the Only OneAwarded the Gold Medal at Paris Exposition, 1900. Your Grocer or Dealer Can Supply You Sold Everywhere Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Rheims, N. Y. Oldest and Largest champagne House in America 'Twould Spoil the Match.— Suitor— “‘T would like to see the photo of the lady with the five-hundred-thousand-dollar dowry.’’ Matrimonial agent—‘‘We don't show photos with the large dowries.'’—Flie- gende Blaetter. Not a Chance.—Flim—" Why couldn’t Black get his life insured?”’ Flam—‘‘The company said he was an extra hazardous risk.’’ Flim—*‘ How so?”’ Flam—‘‘His wife is a suffragette.'’— Princeton Tiger. A Bad Advertisement.—Druggist (to his stout wife Don’t come in just this minute. Iam about to sell six bottles of my fat-reducing mixture.’’—Continent. He's Keeping Quiet Now.—‘Is your mother painting any still life now?"’ “Yes; father’s portrait.”’—Meggen- dorfer Blaetter. Caron! Bitters, — Unequalled for flavoring sliced Fruits, Ices and Jellies, Sample on receipt of cents, Oct. C. Blache & Co., 78 Broad St., N. Y. Gen'l Distra, My Choice. Oh, men may rave over auburn locks Or dream of a golden curl, Or sit and sigh till they droop and die For the sake of a black-haired girl; But neither raven nor red nor gold Is the loveliest hair in town. I know it well (though I seldom tell), For Dorothy’s hair is brown. Let people talk to their heart's content Of the beauty of bright blue eyes, Or gush all day over green or gray And the charm that within them lies; But though their owners glance coyly up Or modestly cast them down, I feel no thrill, but ignore them still— For Dorothy’s eyes are brown. Folks speak with awe of a noble name— De Courcy or Vere de Vere— That commonly goes with a Roman nose And a mien that the low-born fear; But a commonplace name is prettier far Than these titles of high renown. Well, perhaps you have guessed the one Llike best— Yes, Dorothy’s name is Brown! —London Opinion. A Hobble-skirt Dilemma. A young woman came in at the door, The same shape behind as before. As no one knew where To shove up a chair, She had to sit down on the floor. —Macon News. One on the Teacher.— Teacher (to new pupil)—*Why did Hannibal cross the Alps, my little man?” My little man—‘‘For the same reason as the ’en crossed the road. Yer don’t catch me with no puzzles.""—Sydney Bulletin. “As of Old.""—‘‘I’m sorry you've got to leave Eden and go to work simply because I gave you the rest of that apple,’ said contrite Eve. “Never mind,’’ answered Adam. “‘The ultimate consumer always gets the worst of it.”"— Washington Star. With Poor Success.— ‘Talk about man !’’ exclaimed the suffragist. ‘‘What has man ever done for woman “‘He’s furnished her with a model she’s trying durned hard to imitate,” came a voice from the rear of the hall, —Boston Transcript. Between Friends.—Alice—‘‘I thought Mr. Smart had good literary taste until he sent me that silly novel.’’ Kate—‘‘Oh, that doesn’t necessarily indicate his taste, dear; it merely rep- resents his opinion of yours.""—Kansas City Times. Just Why.—‘‘Do you find the cost of living any higher than it was, say, five years ago?” “*Yes, sir. Twoof my daughters have got married since.’’—Washington Her- ald. PNEUMATIC CLEANERS ON’T STIR UP the dust by sweep- ing—REMOVE. it with a modem REGINA -cleaner--the vacuum cleaner with double pumps. Does more w with less labor than any other—simplest, most satisfactory of all—made and guaranteed by the makers of the world-famous Regina Muse Boxes. Light, strong, compact—moderatein price—beautiful in appearance. Electric of Hand operated models. Inquire of dealers ot write us for particulars. Our interesting booklet “THE MAGIC WAND” beautifully illustrated in color pre- : tents the cleaning problem in an original and fascinating manner. Mailed oa receipt of 2c stamp. [Ll The Regina Company Union Square, New York 221 Wabash Avenue In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com