Judge, 1911-04-22 · page 18 of 24
Judge — April 22, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American anxieties: **Top cartoon**: Mocks the newly wealthy's obsession with displaying financial status through front-yard ostentation—the spiraling designs likely represent decorative gardens or walkways meant to impress neighbors. **Main narrative**: A newspaper rewriter attempts to play baseball, humorously discovers sliding is painful, yet remains committed to playing again—satirizing the era's obsession with "dementia Americana" (baseball fever) affecting all social classes. **Sidebars**: Brief joke pieces mock: - Mrs. Ka Flippe's excessive baby care - A failed military school (students couldn't stay on horses for publicity photos) - A couple's quick descent into alimony - A prisoner whose lawyer abandoned his case after inheriting money The "May Day" poem parodies Tennyson, substituting rent concerns for romantic sentiment—reflecting working-class financial precarity beneath the era's consumer enthusiasm.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
May ing near the bag. As the pitcher wound up, he whispered hoarsely, “Steal!” - I went for second with the speed of a —well, of a rewrite man on an evening newspaper. When near the bag I heard the captain’s voice, “Slide !’” I had seen ball players slide for bases and it always looked easy. Take this from me: it isn’t. Of course, in mak- ing the attempt to slide, I got half a motion like the real movement; but, half way through, my feet suddenly took a turn up toward the declining sun, my head moved down toward the virgin earth, and I struck the dirt in the vicin- ity of second base on my stomach. There are tougher parts of the human anatomy than one’s stomach. I was laid out for ten minutes and came to just in time to prevent our police reporter from dumping the water bucket over my head. After the game I crawled out of my uniform and into my clothes. My legs were stiff and swollen, my back ached, my sides were sore, and my right arm was apparently dead. With the exception of our captain we all felt about the same. Yet the grip of de- mentia Americania—— “Thought you would be in the thick of it?’’ I demanded of our assistant sporting editor. = EMPERAMENTS, WHO WISH TO HAVE THEIR NEIGHBORS APPRECIATE THEIR FINANCIAL STATUS, He groaned as he pulled off his coat. “Had an off day. You just watch me next time. I'll eat ‘em up."" “Going to play again,’’ I demanded, “‘after—after this?” “*Sure!’’ he said. He meant too. He is still one of the five million. “ RS. KA FLIPPE seems to be so fond of her baby."’ “Yes, she’s crazy seen the nurse bathe it twice, and it is only four months old!’" : fA Teuwe Hostess—"1 BEG YOUR PARDON, BUT ARE YOU TWO ENGAGED 2”) Man—"1 am; 1 DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE LADY.” E PRONT-WALK SUGGESTION TO GOOD SKLP-ADVERTISING ADVANTAGE. May Day. (Tesnyson revived.) By JOHN K, Le BARON, you MUST wake and call me early, Call me early, mother, dear. To-morrow’ll be the busiest day Of all the sad new yeai The maddest, busiest day, mother, As circumstances prove; For you know ’tis true the rent comes due, So we have got to move. t Sad, but True. Willis—*So your military school wasn't a success?"’ Gillis—‘*No; none of the pupils could stay on a horse long enough to have their pho- tographs taken for the adver- tisements of the school.’’ Matrimony a la Mode. ACK and Jill Rushed up the hill Of reckless matrimony. d, tired Now Jill gets alimony! Unfit for Business. 6¢2DOOR man!” said the kind old lady who was seeing the State prison. “Why are you here?’’ “Because my lawyer in- herited fifty thousand dollars the day before he made his plea to the jury, and couldn't weep."” comicbooks.com