Judge — April 15, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Punch” on Standard Bread. NE great advantage of the new stand- ard bread seems to have escaped the notice of the general public. Owing to its dark complexion it does not show fingermarks. This should mean a coh- siderable saving in some of our minor restaurants.—London Punch, Ihife Proc “The World's Best Table Water” From Generous. ‘John, that man next door came over here to-day and offered to tune little Lucy’s piano.’” “Great! Did you let him do it?” “No, dei He wanted to tune it with an axe!"’—Baltimore Sun. Put up only in NEW Sterilized Bottles A la Harem. Just look at these feminine charmers! (More properly termed they're alarm- ers.) died recently in Alabama—a man Olfactory Evidence. A Recipe for Toddy. TYPICAL old-time ‘‘circuit-rider”’ A LITTLE sugar to make it sweet, A little lemon to make it sour, A little water to make it weak, It takes nerve to wear 'em, These skirts a la harem, For they certainly look like pajamas! —Princeton Tiger. Marine Eye Tonic has Won Many Friends forthat "Morning After the Night Before” Feeling. Pyrotechnic. “Now they claim that the human body contains sulphur.’’ “In what amount?”’ “Oh, in varying quantities.’’ “Well, that may account for some girls making better matches than others.”"—Pittsburgh Post. Sometimes Barren. A family tree doesn’t always bear the fruits of a man's industry.—Philadel- phia Record. In a Huy. If we could get rich in a minute, there'd always be somebody who'd want to do it in a second. —Detroit Free Press. whose godly, unselfish life will long be remembered. Many were the eccentric- ities of this rugged old man, and many anecdotes are current among the Meth- odist ministers of the State concerning him. He was noted for two things— his denunciation of sin in no uncertain tones and the familiarity with which he addressed the Lord in prayer. On one occasion he had been preaching ina log meeting-house in the pine woods of north Alabama. There were several young fellows on hand who had been celebrating by patronizing a still hard by. After a long, fiery sermon, the preacher made a call for mourners, and soon the rude altar was filled mostly by the afore-mentioned young fellows. The old man looked them over for a moment, and with keen intuition felt that it was perhaps a “‘lark’’ on the boys’ parts; but he knelt to pray. “Oh, Lord,” he began, ‘‘here’s a crowd of young fellows kneelin’ round Your altar. They've been cussin’ and swearin’ and drinkin’ their time in riot- ous livin’, but they’ve come up here seemingly penitent. They look like penitents, Lord, and I hope they are. **What did she do?” ‘*Refused to look at me for the rest of the evening."’"—Philadelphia Record. And lots of whiskey to give it power. —Red Hen. The Exception. “Do you think a memory for dates helps a man?’’ ‘Sometimes,’ “But not when he is selling spring chickens.’’—- Washington Star. replied Farmer Corn- Wanted More. “*When she wasn’t looking I kissed Right to a Dot. “T can tell you,’’ said he, ‘‘how much water runs over Niagara Falls to a **How much?”’ asked she. ‘‘Two pints."’—Christian Advocate. What can’t be cured supports the doc- tor.—New York Tribune. They weep like penitents, Lord, and I hope You'll forgive 'em if they are; but, oh, Lord, I declare they don’t smell like penitents!""—Youth’s Companion. Path of Least Resistance. “What kind of a career have you mapped out for your boy, Josh?”” “I'm goin’ to make a lawyer of him,”” answered Farmer Corntossel. ‘‘He’s got an unconquerable fancy for tendin’ to other folks’ business, an’ he might as well git paid for it.”"—Western Chris- tian Advocate, : Sy America’s Favorite An Easter Dinner Treat You Cannot Afford to Miss Equals the best French Wines Cots but HALF WHY? “ALL WINE-.NO DUTY” Order a Case Sold Everywhere as when grandfather drank it—over a hundred years ago” Old Overholt Rye R A centurion Whiskey with ij a spotless reputation for goodness and purity Distilled and Bottled fo Sooe be lish magazine. A. OVERHOLT & CO. He—'It must have come over on the Pittsburgh, Pa. same steamer I did.”"—Kansas City Times. Just Hatched. When women do men’s work, and men From firesides never roam, Oh, shall we hear of women then Who are rooster-pecked at home? —Red Hen. Special Dry-Brat Of No Moment. She—'‘There is nothing in this Eng- In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com