Judge — April 15, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Something in the nature of a Broad- way musical play.”” “Decidedly not! Understand, I said immortality, not immorality. The dif- erence in these two words explains the situation to a‘t.’ I would be the agent of a Shakespeare, not a George Cohan. The mere idea of lowering myself to the making of even a small part of a coarse Broadway entertainment for the tired and disgruntled business man and the blase rounder causes me to turn pale with disgust. I can conceive of no lower use to which I might be put, except forgery—and, after all, they both amount to prac- tically the same thing.”” “At about what would rate your value to the world?"’ “Well, you see, that depends. As the written petition of a poor widow asking aid of a philanthrop- ice multi-millicnaire, I would not be worth the paper upon which Iwas penned. Yet as the sub- stance of the signature of this said wart upon the otherwise beautiful face of finance, I might be worth the full limit of his ac- quirement.” Just here a hand seized the pen and, assuring itself that there was ink upon the nib, wrote the title ‘‘Spring’’ at the top of a blank sheet. But before it could get further, the drop of ink, with a laconic ‘‘Not guilty!’ wriggled off the point of the pen and splashed with such good purpose that the written word was obliterated. you Y aa aie m GAMBIT. “ George, did you leave the professor all alone in the house ? “Oh, I'm taking just a bit of exercise while he makes a move." At which bit of behavior the inter- viewer concluded the conversation at an end and so took his feet out of the brass inkstand and hurried across the blotter, leaving thereon a few sole inspired im- pressions as he made his exit. EGG in the hand is worth two in cold storage. OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME. “Don't be so clumsy, Jack, or everybody will know this is,pur first sextet: . I thought you were playing chess with him."" Incredulous. OW THAT it has been discovered that St. Patrick was not an Irish- man, we may expect an investigating committee to come along and take up the charges in those famous lines, Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, and prove that the poor man was, as a matter of fact, a modest, unassuming, Scotch Presbyterian preacher. Thus are the ideals of our youth one by one dissi- pated under the fierce light of modern investigation. His Taking Way. 66¢77°HE MAN called for the back in- stallments on the piano to-day.” “And what did you do?” “T asked him to take a chair.”” ‘*And what did he do?"’ “*He took the piano.”’ Foolish Fletcherizer. TH TEACHER was giving a lesson in natural history. 3 “*And now, children, ’’ she said, ‘what animal do you think shows the least amount of intelligence? Johnnie Jones, you may answer.’” “Please, ma’am, the cow.’’ “And why the cow?’ “Because, ma'am, it eats first and Fletcherizes afterward."’ a 0D comicbooks.com