Judge, 1911-04-08 · page 20 of 24
Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three brief humorous anecdotes typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Tit for Tat"** presents legal irony: a boy fined for *intent* to throw stones at trains uses the same logic to avoid paying the fine—claiming intent to pay is legally equivalent to paying. **"Her Misfortune"** mocks young Winston Churchill's nascent mustache. A dinner partner insults both his politics and facial hair; Churchill retorts she needn't worry about further contact with either—a cutting comeback suggesting she's unworthy of association with him. **"How Jim Proposed"** satirizes masculine audacity and desperation. A timid suitor publishes a fake engagement announcement to force the schoolteacher's hand. Rather than being charmed, she's furious; Jim offers to retract it, but she reveals it's too late—implying she's actually accepted the publicity as binding. The page also includes period advertisements (Hunter Baltimore Rye whiskey, Sunny Brook whiskey) typical of Judge's revenue model. These humorous vignettes mock social pretension, legal absurdity, and courtship conventions of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tit for Tat. A little boy was once brought before a magistrate, charged with throwing stones at railway trains. ‘*What have you to say in answer to this serious charge?’’ asked his worship, “I didn't throw no stone, sir; I was only going to," said the boy. “Only going to!’’ echoed the magis- trate. ‘‘Well, the intent was there, and as a deterrent I shall fine you half a crown.”” On leaving the court, the father of the boy was called back and informed that he hadn’t paid the fine. “That's so,”’ replied the parent. ‘I should have done so; but, as the intent is just as good in law, why, you're paid!""—Blue Bull. | eee eee HIRE FIFTY YEARS AGO HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE Started in the race for the supremacy which it gloriously maintains to-day Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. Her Misfortune. Winston Churchill, the young English statesman, once began to raise a mus- tache, and while it was still in the bud- ding stage he was asked to a dinner party to take out to dinner an English girl who had decided opposing political v EE TOA AOA AA ASA 8. “Tam sorry,’’ said Mr. Churchill, “‘we cannot agree on politics.’’ ‘No, we can’t,’’ rejoined the girl; “for, to be frank with you, I like your politics about as little as I do your mus- tache.”” “Well,’’ replied Mr. Churchill, ‘‘re- member that you are not really li come into contact with either."’—Red Hen, Every lover of a good cocktail should call for Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best. How Jim Proposed. The school-teacher was a peach. All the young fellows for miles around were mad about her, but the school-teacher was proud, and none of the boys seemed to stand a ghost of a chance. Young Jim Brown, the auctioneer’s son, was the best-looking chap in town and prob- WHAT SHALL IT BE? . ably loved the school-teacher more than Possible purchaser—"‘ It's really charming. But does one refer to the costume as it or them?" any of her other swains; but he never -London Opinion. had the pluck to declare himself. _ One day, the school-teacher being away on a visit, Jim asked advice of the local editor. The editor said, ‘Take the bull by the horns and insert an an- nouncement of your forthcoming mar- riage in my society column.’’ So Jim inserted an announcement to the effect that the school-teacher and he would be married the next month and would spend their honeymoon at Paris. A short time after this announcement appeared the school-teacher came back home. Jim heard on all sides how furi- ous she was. For several days he kept away from her. Then, one afternoon, as she was coming home from school, he ? ran plump into her in the lane. She let The PURE FOOD CAN him know at once what she thought of jim ani is outrageous conduct. S WHISKEY ¥ stormed and raged and her pretty cyes flashed fire. i ee Jim stood first foot and then on imu Medicinally Pure! es sas cules ats ‘calle We Vated ae “Well, if you don’t like it Ican have the announcement contradicted."’ SUBSTITUTE teacher; ‘‘it's too late now.’’—London Opinion. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. TTT comicbooks.com