Judge — March 25, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-e in liquor. James E. Pepper Whisky “Born With the Republic” 4 ate. $3—Bottied In Bond—12 ate. $18 Money back if not atiaied The James E. Pepper Distilling Company Dept, 101, Lexington, Ky. Practice Not Always Makes Perfect. An instructor ina church school where much attention was paid to sacred his- tory dwelt particularly on the phrase, ‘And Enoch was not, for God took him.”’ So many times was this repeated in con- nection with the death of Enoch that he thought even the dullest pupil would answer correctly when asked in exami- nation, ‘‘State in the exact language of the Bible what is saidof Enoch’s death."’ But this was the answer he got: “Enoch was not what God took him for.”—Brooklyn Life. “How did you persua to learn kitchen work? “By calling it domestic science.’’— Washington Herald. » your daughter a np Moms The superlative degree of cigarette-quality. tenet 25¢ detec’ 35¢ of ten dinnersize In Cork and Plain Tips “ The Little Brown Box” Billing and Cooing. In the days when I was wooing, All my time was spent in cooing— Cooing blissfully. First she cooed, and then I cooed, As the love chase we pursued In a happy, dreamy mood. Ne’er a coo from sweet Babette But by me was promptly met Cheerily ! Now we're wed, and, ’stead of thrilling Little coos, we twain are billing— Billing constantly. First I bill, and then she bills— Bills for grocers, bills for pills, Ice and bonnets, duds and frills. Ne’er a bill from sweet Babette But must be instanter met Woe is me! There’s no joy without its sorrow, No to-day without its morrow With its pain. Yet with all the woes of billing, With results so sad and chilling, And the debt chase swift and killing, When Babette doth call me to it 1 am ready still to coo it —John Kendrick Bangs, in Smart Set. Same Thing Over Again. “Daughter, has the duke told you the old, old story as yet?” “Yes; he says he owes about two hun- dred thousand plunks."’ — Pittsburgh Post. The Chief Qualification. “‘Houson | has dainty hands for a man, hasn't he “Yes; he told me that he once lost a position on account of that fact. WwW hat position could that hi er ina theater. His hands were too small to be useful in keeping up the applause. "*— Youngstown Telegram. Revised Version. Little drops of water, From a practiced hand, Make a corporation Grow to beat the band. —Pittsburgh Post. A Hairsbreadth Difference. “Why do you consider women superior to men in intelligence?’’ **A bald-headed man buys hair restorer by the quart, doesn’t he?”’ “Er—yes."” “Well, a woman doesn’t waste time on a hair restorer. She buys hair.’’—San Jose Palladium. Professional Amenities. Young doctor—‘*Congratulate me, old man! I am just preparing to visit my first patient.’" Young lawyer —‘Good! I'll go with you. ‘Perhaps he hasn't made his will.’" —Red Hen. Business vs. Sentiment. Moralist—‘‘Ah, kind friend, it is deeds, not words, that count!"’ Friend—‘‘Oh, I don’t know! Did you ever send a telegram?’’—Chicago Jour- nal. “That sentence is not incorrect,’’ said the professor, ‘‘but it sounds odd to the ish-speaking ear."’"—Harvard Lam- Luscious Grapes from America's finest vineyards give GOLD SEAL CHAMPAGNE Special Dry-Brut A fine exquisite flavor Made after the French process. Costs half what you'd pay for an imported wine. “*All wine—no duty” Order a case to-day— it's sold everywhere. URBANA WINE CO. Urbana, N.Y. Sole Maker Mage in Heaven. One day small Madge heard her mother wasn’t a match in the house, ever mind, mamma,”’ said the little “When I say my prayers to-night, I'll ask God to send us a box."’ “*But why ask God for matches?’’ queried the surprised parent. “ swered Madge, ‘Aunt matches are made in A Cool Meeting. Maud—‘‘I wasn’t aware that you y Mr. Jones. Where did you meet Kate—Oh, I fell in with him while skating.’’—Boston Transcript. Had to Postpone It. “Now she’s dead, I see that Jorkins is trying to break his wife’s will.” “He could never do it while she was living. ’’—Baltimore American. On the Shoals. “The course of true love doesn’t al- ways run smooth,’ sighed the young widow. ‘That's right,"’ rejoined the old bach- elor. ‘*Sometimes it ends in marriage.’ Chicago News. The Word in Season. Knowing what not to say helps some. —Chicago News. The natural ripening and mellowing of P. B. gives it a flavor which cannot be obtained where fermentation is forced. P. B. is above all else an honest brew of pure malt and hops brewed by master brewers. It's the best ale brewed. Try it. At leading H ty and Cal A. G. VAN NOSTRAND, ice i Reewerien In answering aavertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com