Judge, 1911-02-25 · page 10 of 24
Judge — February 25, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine **Judge** contains several brief humorous pieces mocking social conventions and politics of the era (likely early 1900s based on style): **"Why Washington Was Born in February"** jokingly suggests February (Saint Valentine's month) was so shamed by romantic deception that the gods gave it George Washington as compensation—a patriotic joke treating Washington's birth as redemptive. **"The Mule and Champ"** appears to reference a political figure (likely President Theodore Roosevelt's horse "Champ") in a poem playing on the mule as a stubborn beast, possibly satirizing political stubbornness or tariff debates mentioned in the text. The remaining pieces are brief satirical quips: one mocking a child's ability to recognize "stepfathers," another on a woman's vanity (ignoring skin-care costs while answering free-sample ads), and one suggesting modern women care more about funeral wardrobes than their husbands' lives—typical period misogynistic humor. The overall tone is light, domestic satire targeting feminine vanity and relationship instability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Why Washington Was Born in February. By McLANDBURGH WILSON. ONG was February's sign Sacred to Saint Valentine. Fervent oaths did Cupid make, Vows he swore that naught should break. Promised heart should join with heart, Till nor life nor death should part. But ‘twas found, as seasons rolled, Good-sized whoppers Cupid told. February blushed for shame Lying should besmirch her name, Then, for comfort in distress, Of the gods besought redress. When they saw the damage done, Lo! they gave her Washington. A Child Wonder. “ HAT a wonderful memory your child has for names and faces."” ““Yes,"" replied the proud mother. “She never fails to recognize any of her former stepfathers.’ Spite. - He—*Maud has a splendid complex- ion."" Shre—" Yes. costs her a cent! advertisements that offer free samples. And, just think, it hardly She answers all the E THINK of George Washington on the twenty-second of Febru- ary in connection with the work he be- gan, and on the Fourth of July we think of him in connection with the work he finished. NOT HIS PARISHIONERS. “ Are your parents members of my flock ?"" "No, sir. Ma's a Methodist, and pa, he's a Democrat."’ The Mule and Champ. By CHARLES IRVIN JUNKIN. HE Mule is back! The vagrant tramp Is back again And safe in camp With Champ! The world was dark, The woods were damp; But now he glows Beneath the lamp With Champ! The hungry Mule! The empt imp! Capacious maw, And painful cramp, With Champ! The tariff waits, To rend, revamp, And other things To tie and clamp With Champ! He champs the bit, He longs to ramp. Now, will he bray Ah, who can tell? Don’t bet a stamp! He may blow up And burn the camp With Champ! Prefers Money Now. 66\/OU USED to say,"’ said his boy- hood friend, ‘‘that you would be willing to starve in an attic, if you could have fame 8, | know. I've tried starving in an attic. But I've changed my mind. A Summer Idyl. TRAMP, upon a summer day, Slept in a meadow, full of hay. No, that is not the thing to say! The meadow that the tramp was in Was full of grass; the tramp, of gin. THE EPHEMERAL QUESTION. Not To Be Thought Of. oe Y DEAR," he feebly said, after they had permitted her to go to him after the operation, ‘‘I shall not re- They think I will, but they are I feel it. I am going to cover. mistaken. die."’ “No, no, John!’’ she cried. ‘*Don’t say that! You mustn't die! I haven't a thing that is fit to wear to a funeral."" Nowadays. ‘The hand Duhi—*What does this mean: hand that rocks the cradle is the that rules the world'?"" Keane—‘‘It' means that important nursemaids are almost as as suffra- gettes.”” comicbooks.com