Judge — February 11, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge is published weekly by the LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Western Apvertisinc Ovpice: Marquette Building, Chicago, Il. second-class Mail Matter Entered at New York One year, or 62 numbers - + $8.00 Six months, or 26 numbers - 1+ ee Thirteen weeks - = == Subscriptions payable in advance by draft on New York, or by express or postal order, not local checks which are at a discount in New Yor! ity. “Postage free in the United States, its dependen- Mexico. To Canadian Provinces add 00 fenta a year for postage; to all foreign countries add $1.00 8 year. EUROPEAN. AGENTS — International News Com- pany, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Lon- don: Brentano's, Avenue de Opera, Faris ; Saar- Szchange, 16 John Street, Adelphi, Victoire, Paris; 1 Clara advertising for all the publica- -Jutge Company will be taken at fecalar ates at any of the above offices, The contenta of Jupat h the United States and feurn of the latter when found unavailable can- not be guaranteed. We receive such material, sub- n, only on condition that we Id responsible for its loss or injury any news-stand, the nubligations if that fact be postal card or by letter. ERS : Present year, 10 cents per ents ; 1909, 30 cents, etc publish promptly re ACK NU! The Busy Man. He swore he would Yet do his part, But never could Find time to start. Birmingham Age-Herald. Abbott's Bitters with your Grape deal appetizing tonic. Sample by in stamps. . Abbott & Co., Balti« Still on the Wagon. several city officials were siness in the inspectors’ office Thursday afternoon, Electrical In- spector W. H. Buzard, who was standing by the window, suddenly exclaimed, **1 at fellow credit! Here it's over »ks after the beginning of the y d he is stillon the water wagon !’" The other inspectors, hurrying to the window, gazed down at the street, where th w aman riding on a tank wagon which bore the sign, ‘‘Gibson’s Mineral Springs.""—Youngstown Telegram. Defining It. “So the authorities have decided that a man’s home is where he mostly sleeps, have they?" asked Mrs, Getathim, with glare at her hapless spouse. They have, my dear,’’ he replied n, the next time you go to regis- ter, give the church as your home,”’ she said, with an emphasis not to be mis- taken by a guilty,scowering soul.—Bal- timore American, Watch Not Going. What's the time, old chap? jon to dinner at seven and my watch isn’t going."* ssie—‘Why, wasn’t your watch invited, too, deah boy?"'"—Boston Tran- script. Reflection before Vesuvius. “Why are you crying, Mrs. Maier?”” “Oh, tHe sight of Vesuvius reminds me so much of my late husband. He used to smoke a lot, too!’’—Fliegende Blaetter. . Chott | | The Vampire. (Apologies to Kipling.) FOOL there was and he lost his hair. (Even as you and I!) On the top was a spot that was almost are (We called him the fellow who did not care); But the fool he knew that his locks were rare. (Even as you and 1!) Oh, the years we waste and the tears we waste, And the hair tonics we find Belong to the hair that would not grow (And now we know that it never could grow), Either in front or behind. A fool there was and his life he spent (Even as you and I!) Praying for hair like a regular ‘gent’? (And the more he prayed the more it went); But the fool must follow his natural bent. (Even as you and I!) Oh, the toil we lost and the spoil we lost, And the excellent cures we planned Belong to the barber that did not know (And now we know that he never could know) And never could understand. So the fool was stripped of his foolish (Even as you and I!) He caught u cold when he ‘‘hit the air’’ (And now a toupee is resting there), But nobody ‘ms to know Or care (Even as you and I!) And it is not the blame and it is not the shame That stings like a white-hot brand; It’s coming to know that it could not grow, Seeing at last that it never could grow, But it fell out to ‘‘beat the band —Elsie Janis in Life. In Search of His Home. A PEACEABLE resident of West Sixty-fifth Street was rudely awak- ened from sleep last week, at about two- thirty a. m., by a loud ring at his door- bell. Throwing open the window, he stuck his head out and in no very pleasant manner demanded to know what was wanted, **Scuse me, sir,”’ answered a muddled voice. ‘Does Jones —hic— hic —live here?” “Jones?” said the party addressed angrily. ‘Of course not. What the devil do you mean by ringing people's bells at this time of morning? Who are you, anyway?" ‘‘Who'm 1?" asked the disturber, ap- parently surprised at not being recog- nized. ‘‘Why, I’m Jones!’’—Lippin- cott’ The Difference. “He used. to complain because he never got what he wanted to eat.’’ “Yes; but he’s rich now.”” “Yes; and now he complains because he never wants what he gets to eat."’— Catholic Times. The fairest of to-day’s brides may be the mother-in-law of the future.—Lip- pincott’s. > SALTIMORE RYE We Lawattand 5° BALTIMORE HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE NO WHISKEY AS GOOD AT A LOWER PRICE NONE BETTER AT ANY PRICE Guaranteed under the Pure Food Law Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. FINEST BEER LVER BREWED Ask_for it at the Clab, Cafe or Buffet. Insist on Blatz. invited direct, VAL ALATZ BREWING CO MILWAUKEE. WIS In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com