Judge — February 4, 1911 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 Little Willie buys a few val- entines for his teacher and lit- tle friends, 2. While George buys some roses and a box of candy for his cirl. Trousers. By WILLIAM J. LAMPTON. NoTR—A London sartorial authority says that the trowsery of tontay will be of the same partera a bundred thousand years hence. UNCHANGED by time means noth- ing much In matters at their best, Because perfection proves itself By long-continued tes But there is something more than change Of style in trousers that Must cause all thinking men to pause And ask where they are at— To wit: Although the long, long stretch of time May in no wise impair them, A hundred thousand years from now Will men or women wear them? PARCELS POST UP-TO-DATE. Old man from Missouri (viewing aeroplane for the first time)— “ Holy smokes ! if that ain't the queerest-lookin’ balloon I ever seef."’ Young man (also from Missouri, scornfully) —‘' Balloon ? ain't no balloon ; that’s parcels goin’ by this noo wireless telegraff."” 4. Brother Har- old must take a few of hischorus lady friends out to supper. 3 And of course Ethel must have something nice for her eas, S And mamma must give a valen- tine to the cook. and tend a few to the folks at home. Bran 6, Papa foots the bill, and this is what papa gets. The Tabloid Courtship for Lovers. By FRED LADD. HE DEMANDS of the age would seem to be for a delicately edited courtship—a courtship containing all the essentials and facts, but without that long-drawn sweetness which character- ized courtship when the world was younger and had more time. Surely there is nothing to prevent the compres- sion of all the true elements of a satis- factory courtship into a refined tabloid form. Be Let us, then, first determine upon the elimination of non-es- sentials. The first meeting of the happy pair may not be exclud- ed. This is fairly im- portant. But let us boil down the coy glance, the lingering touch of the finger tips, the italicized pro- nunciation of such words as you. And yet, how proceed to a fur- ther stage of bliss without these? One may not become ab- rupt without doing vio- to the tender and winsome love god. Let the soulful eye and the lingering hand pressure remain. Let us eliminate not the veritable food itself of love, but, rather— well, why not elimi- lence That nate her father? But fathers often ob- ject, particularly if they are eliminated ruthlessly; and half-way methods in the case of a father to be eliminated would be altogether impracticable, believe us. Shall we eliminate the theater, the bonbon, the rose, the moonlight, the love set at tennis, the—the— One would better eliminate the idea of courtship at all! Let us see if there be aught which May we cut short Not in time may be condensed. the length of the courtship? these days, for it requires more than ever to amass means sufficient for marriage. Thinking upon the matter, point by point, we are unable to discern any sweet pleasure of courtship which could advantageouly be abbreviated. The world moves, but love is very old and very young. Some Record Holders. LTITUDE—Cost 0’ Living. Endurance—Porfirio Diaz. Continuous flight, top of column, next to reading— Walter Wellman. Putting the hatchet— Mrs. Carrie Nation. Putting the shot (out of commission) —Andrew Carnegie. Making a Dollar Cover Greatest Dis- tance—Mrs. Hetty Green. Pity ‘Tis, "Tis True. Duhl--“A little change never comes ; but it sometimes misses connections in coming."” comicbooks.com