Judge — February 4, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IMPERATIVE MOOD. In the stone age a dapper young dude, Gave his sweetheart a valentine rude. Bat humor she lacked, And his skull she most cracked, Before he discovered her mood. “*Poor Hubbie Again.”’ “That letter I gave did you post it?’’ as her husband out of the corner of you this morning, 1 the wife, look- ing her eye. “No, dear, I'did not,” said the man boldly. “Of course you didn’t. And I told you it was important that it should go to-day “Yes, dear.’” “And of course you forgot to post it. If that ’s not just like a man!"" “But, dear’? — “Don't ‘but’ me. I'm angry.”” “But, dear, look here at the letter, You forgot to address it!’"—Blue Bull. A bottle of Abbott's Bitters should be on every table to serve with the soup course. Sample by , in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Balti- Odd. should speak of wading That through a dry book. That one can make one’s maiden pro- sal to a widow. we hat a fellow can be in a girl's pres- ence and yet be ‘* gone."” That the more we think of some peo- ple, the less we think of them. That the more people we get to help us keep a ret, the sooner it gets away from us.—London Opinion. The Why. “How long are you going to stay in Monte Carlo?” ctly six days?” I've only brought six cos- tumes with me!"'—Le Rire. Before a Shop Window. Billy—**Buy me that little rocking- horse, papa."” Dad—“‘If you are a good boy, you shall ha’ t next Christmas."’ Billy—*No! Buy it now. I may E before next Christ- A Sameness. Bacon—*'I see the United States has the greatest variety of postage stamp Egbert—‘And yet they all taste '—Yonkers Statesman. Woman's Ways. “These stocks of yours are worthles: said the banker. “T don’t care,’’ said the woman. “The broker is very accommodating. He has exchanged them four times.”’— London Opinion. Hostess (anxious to make an impression on the new curate) —‘' Dear me, Janet, cook has surpassed herself in the border round the pie ! “* Please, mum, she made it with her false teeth !'" Janet Tempora Mutantur. At a poultry show in a neighboring city eggs were given as prizes in the contest. Time was when patrons were satisfied with nothing more expensive than a silver loving cup.— Youngstown Telegram. How He Got It. “He has all kinds of money. “Rich, eh 2" “No; ‘coin collector."’—Texas Coyote. Some men work harder trying to get out of doing a thing than it would take them to do it.—Ex, How did she do it?"" — London Opinion. Psychic Cruelty. The judge —‘‘Can you describe any specific act of cruelty on the part of your husband ?”’ The complainant —‘‘I should say I can! Whenever he had anything to say to me he 'd call me up on the telephone and say it, and then disconnect b had a chance to talk back to him. cago News. Anatomical. Artist—‘‘Madam, it is not faces alone that I paint, it is souls.’’ Madam—‘‘Oh, you do interiors, then?”’ —Boston Transcript. EVERY DEALER KNOWS that the most satisfactory brand of whiskey he can offer his trade is *T. WV. HARPER” q Often, however, they recommend something else because there is more profit in the poorer kind. @ As a consumer you want THE BEST, therefore insist on HARPER. Bernheim Dt Ing Co., Inco rated Loulevitie In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com