Judge, 1911-01-28 · page 18 of 24
Judge — January 28, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several humor pieces targeting turn-of-the-century American life: **"Some Difference"** jokes about male nervousness during marriage proposals—Popkins was terrified proposing, but Billups claims confidence. Popkins's punchline exposes the absurdity: Billups was sure of *himself*, but what about the woman's feelings? The satire mocks male self-absorption in romance. **"An Ill Wind"** shows a boatman regretting circumstances beyond his control—simple wordplay humor. **"Hoots from a Wise Owl"** consists of dry social commentary: mocking people who discount notes to pass time, satirizing literary pretension about airplane history, and critiquing the ubiquity of advertisements. **"First Aid to Struggling Poets"** ridicules poets struggling to rhyme with "eleven" and "heaven." Judge offers deliberately absurd mathematical rhyme-schemes (like "nineteen-four plus five plus two") to mock overwrought verse-making, ending with a tongue-in-cheek refusal to accept submissions using this method. The overall tone is lighthearted social satire of contemporary manners and cultural pretensions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PARADISE LOST. Some Difference. HEY had been discussing ‘‘How Men Propose.’” “‘Well,”’ said Popkins, ‘‘I was scared to death when I did it. How about you, Billups? Were you nervous?" “Not a bit,’’ said Billups. perfectly sure of myself.”” “Oh, I never doubted that for a mo- ment,’’ said Popkins. ‘‘But were you sure of the girl?’’ “T felt AN ILL WIND. Beatman (caught on lee shore) —"* If the wind had only blown the other way." It’s Up to You. By JOHN K. Le BARON. IN’T get the mullygrubs, Sidetrack the blues; Life’s but a game—a quest— And if you do your best You'll get your dues. In our wild scrambling To beat the game, Some grab the prize of wealth, Others win joy and health, Others just fame. Keep a keen look ahead, Whate’er you do; What you may lose or win, Whatever you ‘‘cash in,” Is up to you. Hoots from a Wise Owl. HE EDITOR of our for Everybody Column’ when time hangs heavily on your hands the best way to make it pass rapidly is to discount a note for three months. It is rumored in literary circles that a nglish ood Advice * says that coming issue of a prominent comic paper will announce the great dis- covery that the beginnings of the aero- plane will be found to have been back in the days of the Greek aorists. Even in a prohi- bition State the high cost of living can't take a drop too much to please the public. Hot Stuff. N extract from a popular novel : “*He pressed a burning kiss upon either cheek, straightway face became and her ash- en. Biff, Bang! SING a song of sixpence, A collar full of snow! Boys are boys ex- actly Like you long ago. T HAS to be a pretty straight and narrow path nowadays that isn't plastered with alluring advertise- ments. were REMODELED TO FIT THE MODERN FASHION. Snodgrass. First Aid To Struggling Poe WE UNDERSTAND that there is much unhappiness among the poets this year, especially the so: occasional poets, because there is paucity of rhymes to ‘‘eleven,’ and “‘heaven’’ being the only really ob- vious ones. We sympathize with them, and are glad for their benefit to point a way out of their difficulty which after much hard labor we have discovered, and which will become clear to them when they have read the following speci- men lines: To 1911. How crisp the air, how s' That shines in nineteen How good it is to be al In dear old nineteen-six plus five! How welcome are thy scenes to m Dear nineteen-fourteen minus three! What deeds to dare, what deeds to do In nineteen-four plus five plus two! How good to dig, how sweet to delve In nineteen-two-three minus twelve! Life is a dream of sweets divine In one-nine-twenty minus nine! In glad acclaim let trumpets roar To nineteen-three plus two times four! pet the sun plus one! Ordinarily we should patent a literary scheme like this, but for the good of the cause we refrain. It is our glad gift to the poets of the land. Our only stipula- tion in their free and untrammeled use of it is that they do not send any of their resulting lucubrations to this office. comicbooks.com