Judge — January 21, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge is published weekly by the LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Western Apventisina Oprice: Marquette Building, Chicago, IN. Entered at New York as Second-class Mail Matter One year, or 62 numbers - : $5.00 Six months, or 26 numbers - - 280 ‘Thirteen weeks - = - - - 1:25 Subscriptions payable in advance by draft on New York, or by express or postal order, not by local checks which are at a discount in New York a Postage free in the United States, its dependen- cies, and Mexico. To Canadian Provinces add 0 cents a year for postage ; to all foreign countries Od $1.60 a year. AN AGENTS — International News Com- juilding, Chancery Lane, B.C. Lon- ‘Avenue de UOpera, Paris: Saar- 2 Exchange, 16 John Street, Adelphi, 3.56 Rue de la Victoire, Paris; 1 Cl Mainz, Germany. SZubscriptions and advertising for all the publica- tions of Leslie-Judge Company will be taken at regular rates at any of the above ‘The contents of Jupce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. ributors must Include a stamped and self- addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwise return of the latter when found unavailable can- | not be guaranteed. We receive such material, eub- mitted for publication, only on ‘condition that we shall not be held responsible for ita loss or injury while in our hands or in transit. if JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal card or by letter. BACK NUMBERS : Present year, 10 cents per copy ; 1910, 20 cents ; 1909, 30 cents, ete. Love Song of a Microbe. t T THE recent dinner of the founders of the New Theater, in New York, a number of bright little talks were made, especially one by Walter Dam- rosch; but the gem of the evening was generally conceded to be a few verses by George Ade, delivered in response to a hearty call. Mr. Ade’s verses were as follows: The Microbes’ Serenade. A lovelorn microbe met by chance, At a swagger bacteroidal dance, A proud bacillian belle; and she Was first of the animalcula, Of organism saccharine She was the protoplasmic queen, The microscopical pride and pet Of the biological smartest set. And so this infinitesimal swain Evolved a pleading, low refrain: “Oh, lovely metamorphic germ, What futile scientific term Can well describe your many charms? Come to these embryonic arms, Then hie away to my cellular home | And be my little diatom! His epithelium burned with love. He swore by molecules above She'd be his own gregarious mate, Or else he would disintegrate. This amorous mite of a parasite Pursued the germ both day and night, And neath her window often played This Darwin-Huxley serenade— He'd warble to her every day This rhizopodical roundelay : “Oh, most primordial type of spore, I never met your like before; And though a microbe has no heart, From you, sweet germ, I’ll never part. We'll sit beneath some fungus growth, Till dissolution claims us both Caroni Bitters—One (1) pony glass before meals. Best tonic and appetizer. Oct. C. Blac! No ho ome without it. 78 Broad St., N. he & Co, Y., Gen’l Distra. Pays to Advertise. “‘Waiter,’’ grumbled the customer, “T should like to know the meaning of this. Yesterday I was served with a portion of pudding twice this size.’’ “Indeed, sir!’’ rejoined the waiter. “Where did you sit?” “By the window.” “Oh, that accounts for it. We al- ways give people by the window large portions, It’s an advertisement.’’— London Tit-Bits. WHAT DID SHE MEAN? He—“'l thought you preferred the attention of Cholly.”* She—""Not by any means. You are just as welcome as he to call. Why, he is the worst bore I know." Quick Changes. Wife—‘ Darling, I want a new gown."” Husband—‘But you had a new one only a short time ago.’” Wife—*Yes; but my friend Ellen is to be married, and I can’t wear the same dress as I wore at her last wedding. Fliegende Blaetter. Why Patrick Henry Said It. A schoolboy’s composition on Patrick Henry contained the following gem: | ‘‘Patrick was not a very bright boy. He had blue eyes and light hair. He got married, and then said, ‘Give me liberty or give me death.’ '’—Harper’s Magazine. Sold at all first- clase cafes and yy job! Wa, LaNanan & SON, Baltimore, Md. HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE RIPE RICH MELLOW In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. ‘swoon’ Cigarettes Try them, and see what you've been missing. CAMBRIDGE 25¢ boxes of ten AMBASSADOR 35, In Cork and Plain Tips after-dinner size " The Little Brown Box"* SohISes THs ws Deterrents. “George,’’ said her husband’s wife, ‘I don’t believe you have smoked one of those cigars I gave you on your birth- day.” “That's right, my dear,’’ replied his wife’s husband. ‘‘I’m going to keep them until our Willie wants to learn to smoke."’—Chicago News. Helping Him Out. “I'd like to know my fate to-night,’’ The young man said in doubt. “I'll go and call papa,”’ she said, “*And he will help you out.’" —Yonkers Statesman. A City Story. “Where can I hide?” gasped the min- ing-stock promoter, as he burst into his office. ‘The police are coming!”’ “Get into the simplified card-index case!" cried the chief clerk. ‘I defy any one to find anything in there!""— London Opinion. comicbooks.com