Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 50: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Waiting for Christmas I need new shirts and need ‘em badly, The socks I have are thin and worn: But wife declares she'll darn ‘em gladly? If | won't buy till Christmas morn. My collars now are frayed and splitting, Of gloves I've not a decent pair, But she declares it wise and fitting To wait. I may get things to wear. My neckties all are torn ond tattered, JUDGE of which the class had just mastered. He put down the necessary figures and then said "*Now, let us see how many times this number will go into the other. Let us try six.’ He fried six, and, as he intended, six wouldn't do, ‘Well, let's try five then,’ he Five all right, and he went ahead y home that evening he over- 1 boys with bookbags under rms and heard this conversation Bill, did a long-whiskered, bald- headed old feller come into your room to- day?’ *Yep,’ replied Bill. ‘And’ did he talk to you?’ "said Bill Ye “Well, so he did to us, but the funniest thing, by golly, was that the old chump stumped himself on an example in long division.’""—Philadelphia Times. Excellent Advice In one of those pleasant little sermons on human conduct that have become so com- mon, we note the fol- lowing “Don'ts"’: “Don't tie any My slippers out at toe and hee My fancy vest is gravy spattered, I think it's pork or lamb or veal. your initia No one can question the value of this advice. The man who willfully carves his initials on his horse, or his cow, or his goat, deserves a ‘se- vere public admonition. appily, very few animals wall Stand for it, even when tied to a tree; and in refined cir- cles this form of vanit is looked upon as decid~ edly bad Term. If you are afraid you won't recognize your horse or your cow when you see them again, tie a blue ribbon in their right ears, or put a knot in their tails, but don’t carve anything on them.— Blue Bull, To buy such things just now, she warns me Is throwing coin away, And so, though ragged stuff adorns me, I'm hanging on till Christmas day —Daetroit Free Press What the Boys Thought Dr. Martin G. Brum- baugh tells this story on a prominent educa tor who one day visited one of the elementary schools: “The teacher ask-d him if he wished to say a word or two,” said Dr. Brumbaugh, “and he did. He decided to illustrate’ a point he was making by a problem in fong division, the intricacies HE WANTED TO BE “IN IT.” “Why, surely, Uncle Hiram, you don't intend to sit down to my formal club dinner in those clothes ?" Hiram Hoisheads—"*Jest es sure es you're born, m' boy! Your Aunt Marthy said jest es likely es not, all th’ folks wud be dressed tew kill, so I jest hired these here shootin’ togs of a costoomer here in th’ city.” The man who has the wool pulledover hiseyes is generally fleeced Philadelphia Record perfect blend of rare, old liquors! exquisite flavor, add the final touch to the season's cheer! Drink. CLUB COCKTAILS — and serve them! Mixed by experts to the most exact x tions—to measure, not by guess—CLUB ~ COCKTAILS stimulate, invigorate, satisFy. Al Simply prety rye es G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors Hartford New York - London