Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A BEFORE-CHRISTMAS REFLECTION Iwudn't mind it a bit. if me dad licked me wid dat big cane aks for itself from out of the rich pages of history, the glowing passion fired folios of the drama, the tender breathings of the Muses—king and commoner, poet and peasant—all are on out books. The secret of our success is briefly thi rge no fee and our service is entirely fre 1d could do business on t , but we pride ours happy old-fashionedness of our methods. In deserving cases we No other firm in the Ives on the basi Our Offer Is This We have in stock an entirely new and reliable selection of hearts, suitable for all temperaments, and for all ranks of society—the dainty shop-girl or the delicate darling of a millionaire; the city clerk or the booming broker; the actor, the artist, or the author, the baker or the butcher, the cowboy or the copper, right down through the alphabet of occupations. We can suit you all Within a few days our stock rooms will be open to the public, to whom we extend a cordial and hearty invitation to visit us. We have several surprises in store for visitors amongst which ma mentioned our Lover's Lane, a perfect imitation of a country lane with moonlight effects, our Lover's Garden of Arbours, where amongst the shady foliage a due trial of our goods may be made. (This department will be in charge of Mrs. Chaperone.) Love's Shooting Gallery, with our special bows and arrows, which may be y be purchased for home use. Our principal will have the fitting department under his special charge, and will be glad wherever possible to exchange misfits, should such inavoidab! We might mention that our spring stock contains goods which we would camestly commend to all lovers. Our No. 421, young girls’ (modest, tender, sympathetic and wholly adorable), we rank as one of the best we have intro- duced as yet, and we must remind you that as our experience teaches us there will be a run upon this line, intending customers should make an early selection. For girls we are offering No. 281 young man’s (true, faithful, understanding, generous, free from jealousy), which we cannot guarantee to keep in stock for a long period. We have also for disposal at clearing-out rates, several hearts left on our hands by divorcees, old men’s darlings, disappointed bachelors, and several poets, authors. occur. Please Note The Following We can supply you with, on hire for day or week, several hearts suitable for fictional or dramatic inspiration. Our Grausturk and Tarkington brands are sure winners. Do not be afraid to consult us. Nothing is too big or too small for us to deal with. Please mark on your calendar January ist—New Year's Day opening of Dan Cupid’s Unlimited nur obedient servant, Dax Curtin, RIPLEY you've observed it, neight of late, How frequent And if they de The real not folks fail to it’s strangely to things meditated by th inticipat quite often find > mind. It reminds me how Doc Sedleitz once disappointment found, When he hooked the most uncommon catch that eer was brought to ground. Doc hushed it up until "t was known to only just a few; He'd trounce me now if he knew I was telling it to you So bent was Doc on fishing, that he'd go and set a pole Down by the flame where the river formed a decpand eddying hole; And then in office hours he occasionally would look, To find how Fortune favored this, his stationary hook rtless way, nly this day torial friend, ard the end. ‘ome fine ones have heen taken in this very That of others seemed regardless; but cert It worked for naught but failure with our pis And a joke of which 't was doubtful if he e’er h You see, some impish rascals who had nothing else to do, Made up their minds that Doc should have a catch completely new; So from McLaury’s slaughter-house they brought a white cow's tail, ‘And fastened it where up to then he'd watched without avail And then one went and told him how he surely had a bite, And how the way ‘t was tugging at the line was just a sight; All unconscious of the trick, Doe went down with haste to see, And add to his long catching list another victory. And certainly it was a sight to take a fisher’s eye: Doe grasped the pole in’ manner wily, resolute, and spry, With exclamation smothered—" Whether pickerel or trout, It is the biggest one this river holds, beyond a doubt.” “By mighty;" said Doc Sedleitz, as the tail came first to view, This is a catch to anglers in these Waters very new And then exclaimed with cestasy which fishers only feel, \ silver ecl, by gracious! it is sure a silver cel! But right here elation ended, and all his feelings fine Gave place at once when 't was disclosed what dangled at his line, And the rakes who, hidden, had watched the climax of his dream, Saw the tail and fishing outfit go floating down the stream. nt back to pills and powders, the ills of life to cure, 4S Most men would, I'm sure Doe wi 1 took the joke as And I've thought wh d of weal, PROPER WORDS IN PROPER PLACES. New Re; “The auto turned terrapin, and——" City Editor—" You mean turned turtle." New Reporter—* Well, it was a high-priced machine.” comicbooks.com