Judge, 1910-12-03 · page 17 of 52
Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **"A Christmas Resolve"** is a darkly comedic poem where a man resolves to commit suicide at Christmas—not from genuine despair, but as a dramatic gesture to impress Miss Perilla, who actually likes him. **"An Affair of State"** is a light verse romance between a farmer from Duluth and a woman from Bismarck, filled with puns on state names (Ida-ho, In-diana). **"Backed Off the Boards"** briefly notes that an actor must yield to Santa Claus during the holiday season. **"A Yellow Peril"** plays on contemporary anti-Chinese sentiment; a Chinese writer shortens his pig-tale (pun) after criticism. **"Not in Style"** jokes about a woman named Mars feeling uncomfortable in an unfashionable skirt. The bottom illustration, "Poverty in Old New York," depicts street children and discusses wealth disparities—a social commentary typical of Judge's era. The overall tone mixes wordplay, romantic comedy, and light social observation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Eprrox (ro 4 A Christmas Resolve By HORACE DODD GASTIT AM not weary of this fife, ¢ much pleasure in ‘my [rather yeam for scenes of stri And have no use for peaceful ways. In trouble I find food and drink ve won a goodly store of pe And yet in sphie of all 1 think Come Christmastime I'Ilhang myself. Tis not that suicide’s a thing T have the slightest liking for. Tam not keen at all to swing From rafter or from cellar-door. Nor have I any cause to take My life by noose or otherwise, But I shall do it for the sake Of Miss Perilla’s witching She hath not spumed me—not at all— In fact she brightens when I come, And when her fringéd lashes fall I think her heart is going some. But hang I shall in spite Gossip—" Ve ch Miss Guilders. Stranger—" 3 P—" A Deauty, yes her face uty with her? Pout) —" MANY HAPPY RETURNS OP An Affair of State By JOHN K, LE BARON GAY farmer youth, Who was rather uncouth, And hailed from Duluth, Minnesota. Went out after dark, And met in the park Ida West from Bismarck, North Dakota. The Bismarckian maid Was neatly arra In a-nobby high New Jersey. When he said: “Be my bride,” The fair maiden replied, “T feel fun inside; ““Twill be glorious, you bet,” Said he, without fret, “Planting corn, for I'll let Ida-ho."* So they married straighty POVERTY IN OLD They say her father ha is her only fortune W YORK. five thousan‘l pounds if he hath a shilling.” THE Day." Backed Off the Boards TE Only One must now forego, His daily meed of loud applause In favor of a greater one, The Hon. Santa Claus, A Yellow Peril A LITERARY Chinaman, Once owned a pig quite fat; He thought of it both night and day— More than his rice or rat. He wrote a tale and made the pig The hero (quite in sport); “Tis far too long,” they said, and so He cut his pig-tale short. Not in Style MARS bad a little skirt "Twas not a hobble, nit! And that’s the reason why, you know, She felt so queer in it. AC Greeien She hath but a miserable ten-acre farm on Broadway.” comicbooks.com