Judge, 1910-12-03 · page 15 of 52
Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks both progressive conservation efforts and William Jennings Bryan's political platform. The narrative imagines a future where anti-deforestation laws (likely referencing conservationist Gifford Pinchot) make Christmas trees illegal, threatening to elect an environmental candidate president. Bryan responds by proposing the government take over Christmas as a public function rather than private affair—winning overwhelming election support. The satire ridicules Bryan's populist socialism and Americans' commercialism: the nation spends half the year acquiring Christmas goods and half paying debts. The illustration caption ("It looks as if I'd have to go back for another load") and final scene showing Santa's sleigh stalled behind freight trains suggest the absurdity of industrializing and government-controlling even cherished traditions. The joke: Bryan's well-intentioned government intervention creates bureaucratic chaos, defeating its own purpose.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Santa Claus—"It looks as if I'd have to go back for another loa MERRY CHRISTMAS, INCORPORATED LLIS PARKEK BUTLEK revolted against the custom of giving fool presents and recetv- The agitation I was that year, or the year following, that the whole people ing absurd gifts on the twenty-fifth of December against deforestation had reached a climax, and any man discovered cutting an adolescent tree, or with one in his possession, was fined seven thousand dollars and sent to the penitentiary for life, and the custom of having Christmas trees became a dangerous one to follow It looked as if Pinchot, on the platform No more Christmas Trees” would he elected President by an overwhelming majority But William Jennings Bryan was, luckily, still alive, and from his moss covered retreat in Nebraska he startled the country by his brilliant pronunciamento: “Christmas should be a function of the Government, and not a private affair.” On this platform he was elected, carrying every state in the Union by overwhelm- ing majorities. His trip to Washington was one continuous ova- tion, and men wearing boy's size Christmas suspenders, women wearing extra large sickly green Christmas gloves, and children carrying toys eight years too young for their ages and inane Christ- mas books, almost mobbed him in their joy. For years the nation had been spending six months of each year planning for Christmas and the remaining six months trying to raise money to settle the Christmas bills,and the thought that at last the government would as- sume the whole Christmas nuisance drove many men insane with joy. But long before Mr. Bryan reached Washington his train was stalled on the tracks. Ahead of him were train after train; slow freight trains, fast freight trains, express trains and mixed trains “WHAT'S THAT?” comicbooks.com