Judge — November 26, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Facts in the Case. By JOE CONE. I STOOD on the bridge at midnight, As the clock was making a hit; I stood on the bridge at midnight, Because there was no place to sit. The moon rose over the city, ‘And I watched its marvelous glow; The moon rose over the city— It couldn’t well rise below. An Exhortation. 66] SEE the president of Michigan Col- lege is exhorting women to prepare for wifehood instead of ambitious careers.’’ “*Yes; and while he’s on that subject he ought to exhort them to stick longer to one husband.”” Suspicious Dears. WHEN a fellow tells a girl she is one in a thousand, she wants to know how he stands with the other nine hundred and ninety-nine. HASH FROM MARY'S LAMB. Mary had a little lamb, And meat, you know, is high ; So John considered quite a while, Then oniered milk and pie. Already Attended To. Teacher (sternly)—‘‘Johnny, what is the matter with your eye? If you and Willie White have been fighting again, I shall give each of you a good whipping!” Johnny (with the victor’s generosity )— “Yes'm. But you needn't mind about Bill. He's had his.”” OUR EXCHANGE BUREAU. Exchange Anything You Don't Waat for Something You Do. A POET with 2 promising future, but no apparent present, wishes toexchange three bales of ‘sentimental verses applicable to all the seasons and an- niversaries of the year, written legibly on white paper of good quality with the best copying ink in the market, in all running to approximately $6,000 lines, and s0 far rejected only by thirty-eight editors, for ten dollars’ worth of Lincoin cents. Address, Parnassus, Pierian Springs. Conn. WILL EXCHANGE, 272 reqvestions asked, my 9 chance for a return mateh with Mr. Jack Johnson, for one quart bottle of any and effective, horse-linin ent, suitable for sore eyes or a bruised solar plexus. Address, immediately, by nightlettergram if possible, collect, James J. Jeffries, Salt River Junction, Nevada. A YOUNG MAN, ‘esetly marric} i cxch wife's muffins, all urder three weeks old, and of good, durable quali . board ble ornaments, for one square meal known mothe: used to make.” Immediate exchange required. Answer before Tuesday. George W. Billups, The Red- mere Cottages, Benzinehurst-by-the-Ocean. ecently married, will excharge AVIATORS, dashed to earth, won't likely rise again. JUDGE Renoesque Mother Goose. ETER, Peter, pumpkin-eater, Had a wife and couldn’t keep her. After Reno, strange to tell! The other fellow kept her well. Randomettes. LAT reports from the smoking-car libraries on our great Western rail- ways give gratifying evidence that Em- erson and Socrates are about even in the matter of popularity, as shown by the calls for their books, A facetious wag in Maine says that the first aid to the injured in prohibition States is the lemonade, A glance at the comic-opera prima don- nas of the day seems to show that many aman who has married a chorus girl has inadvertently hitched his wagon to a star. The Freezing Point. T= Masonic man was icy, His demeanor made one freeze; For his rank within that lodge, you see, Was thirty-two degrees. Just as of Old. MAIDEN lady correspondent has named six reasons why she would- n’t marry the best man living, and the most important one of all is, ‘‘ because. Carrying Air Wanted. ee WONDER why someone hasn't writ- ten an aviation song?” “« [suppose it ’s because of the many diffi- culties encountered with the air.”” The Turnstile’s Salutation—‘‘We gates!" DOUBLY ABBREVIATED. ‘ Miss La Nude writes all her own plays in shorthand.”" “ Her costumes appear to have been designed in the same way. Hobbled. DILLAR, a scholar, What makes you come so soon? You used to come at ten o'clock, But now you come at noon. dollar, a hobble-skirt At the Delicatessen. “Have you stuffed olives?’’ “*No, madam; but I have filled dates.’’ erro LANG A MAINE MARTYR, “ Markley died game." “* Ab, hero of some kind, eh?” “No; up in the Maine woods an amateur hunter mistook him for a deer."" comicbooks.com