Judge — November 12, 1910 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Little Willie's first pair of long pants. — London Opinion Soon. In but a few weeks They'll begin Their skating where The ice is thin. —Detroit Free Press. Poets Take Notice. “T sent a poem to that magazine, and now I hear it has failed." “Too bad! But maybe they won't sue you for damages. "’—-Atlanta Constitution. Hit. Friend—‘‘You fought bare-headed?"’ French duelist—** Yes, and got a fine sun- stroke.’’—Journal Amusant. Can This Be True? Little drops of water, Little grains of sand, Make the grocer’s fortune Swell to beat the band. —Chicagu News. Still Playing the Game. The great American lottery continues to thrive at Reno, despite the anti-gambling laws.—Washington Times. Burning Money. Blobbs—* How did he make his money?"’ Slobbs—‘*In smoking tobacco."’ Blobbs—‘‘Is that so? I've been smoking. tobacco nearly all my life, but I never made any money at it. Denver Times. Pa's Opinion. Tommy—‘Say, pa, what is the census bureau?” Pa—'‘The census bureau, my son, is a collector of facts that are given to the pub- lic after they are out of date.’’—Chicago News. Not Serious. “I hear there are grave charges against Senator Jinks.’" “What are they “The sexton’s ican. "Baltimore Amer- JUDGE | Cap and Gown Smiles. | A Dirge. She laid the still white form beside those which had gone before. No sob, no sigh forced its way from her heart, throbbing as though it would burst. Suddenly a cry broke the stillness of the place—one single, heart-breaking shriek; then silence. An- other cry; more silence. Then all silent, but for a guttural murmur, which seemed to well up from her very soul. She left the place. She would lay another egg to- morrow.—Princeton Tiger. Domestic Science. “Necessity is the mother of invention,"’ | remarked the cook, as she used her nightcap for a pudding bag.—Columbia Jester. The Third Degree. He—‘‘He was a bachelor of arts, but she was a master of arts."” She—*‘And so they are married now?” He—Yes; and now he will have to be a doctor of philosophy to bear the burden."?— Sphinz. At the Singing Contest. 1913—*What’s the difference first bass and second?"’ 1912—‘About ninety feet.''—Columbia Jester. between He—‘I dreamed I died last night."’ She—‘Did you forget to turn off the steam heat before you went to bed?’’— Stanford Chaparral. Not So Much Gas, Guvnor. Householdei —‘I don’t so much mind you taking the silver, but I can’t afford to have all the gas jets turned on full. The gas bills are big enough already !’"—Comic Cuts. The Only Way. “Why do you make that patient wait three hours every day in your ante-room?"’ “He needs rest,"’ explained the doctor, “‘and that is the only way I can compel him to take it.’’—Louisville Courier-Journal, The Reason. Teacher—Can any little girl tell me why our heads are covered with hair?" Little girl--‘*To have something to pin | more hair to.""—Life. THE LAST STRAW. Despondent proprietor of weighing machine (as he puts on his only remaining weight) —"“Bless me, if this don’t lift the old lady I'll have to give her her money back!""—London Punch. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. THE SMOOTHEST TOBACCO What makes a pleasant gift to a man? Velvet. What puts him in good humor and keeps him there? Velvet. It makes a ripping good gilt. Velvet is the smoothest, richest piece of Burley tobacco made. It's just the choice leaves of the plant mellowed and cured so pelea that every particle al Ilavor is brought to its height. — It doesn t burn the tongue simply because it grows without a bura. Il you are searching for @ good present get a pound can of Velvet frat any tobacconist. SPAULDING & MERRICK Chicago, Ill In handsome pound mud haifpound pack- Sper with Seomsdel cops fisoin pocket sizecant, 10 cents The Charming poses illustrating and pool. No Charge for Booklet pictures in rainiature. tiful photoxravures of the same subjects —size 7 x 12—We each, $1.50 for set of six. Your money back on any one or all of them if you ask for it. WILLIAM A. SPINKS G COMPANY M0 W. Erie Street, Chicago Spinks! Self Sticker Coe Tips and of Spinks foe W8 yearn the chalk ot cue experts HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS. PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 22, 34 and 96 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 2) Beekman Street, New York ALL KINNS OP PAPER MADE TO ORDER. LAUGH WITH SIS HOPKINS HER OWN BOOK 10c All Newsdealers 10c comicbooks.com