Judge — November 12, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Information Wanted. By CHESTON SYER. VEN IF it be true that a di- NON vinity shapes our ends, how can every man be the architect of his own for- tune? If 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, why do the philosophers claim that experience keeps a dear school and + fools will learn in no other? If it be wiser never to put off until to- morrow that which can be done to-day, is it folly to look before you leap? If it is better to give than to receive, why should a penny saved be a penny earned? Is it because money makes the man that money is the root of all evil? If you ‘‘do it now,’ does it follow you couldn’t do it better at a more opportune time? If one is as sober as a judge, does it fol- low that all judges are sober? Taking the Editor’s Advice. YOUNG joke writer sent several bunches of his short manuscripts to the editor of a first-class funny magazine from time to time, but had them all re- turned, with a final accompanying note from the editor, which read: “Send them so they'll stick.’” In due time this writer sent on another bunch of jokes, with this communication: “Taking your advice, I am sending you some jokes written on fly-paper. Hope they'll stick.’” | DN JUDGE The Lover's Question. (According to Dr. G. Stantey Hall.) By GRACE McKINSTRY. To say that " Love fs the greatest thing In the world,” like Se saying that is written, “Now abigeth Paith, Hope, Love, bat the greatest scieotife. 381 xed idea, rodimestary paranol: totic symptoms of bereditary degeneracy, and prychic emo- joa.” Mow thankful eléerly folk should be that jad all these things and Kept out of the bospitals! tem. H, LOVELY Angelina Jane, excuse my great confusion In telling that I have for you emotive, fixed delusion— Or fixed idea, perhaps it is—and something rudimentary. It’s paranoia, isn’t it? Though is that com- plimentary? And psychic neurasthen episodic Of inherited degeneracy, which may be periodic. Obsession that is psychic and emotive, too, I'm feeling, And so before you on the rug I am most humbly kneeling. Now, if this language seems to be a little bit above you, I'll put it in old-fashioned words, and sim- ply say, “‘I love you.”” What He Ought To Do. Ty IGGLES,”’ says the old friend, ‘‘you got me to give your brother a job a month ago, didn’t you?”’ “Yes, and I was mighty glad you took care of him. He’s been the deadwood of the family for years. It was a deucedly clever thing of you to”—— “Well, I just wanted to say to you that if you want to make your pull good you'll have to come around and do his work for him.” and symptoms Mother Goose in Politics. By WILLIAM J. BURTSCHER. ITTLE Jack Horner, The great reformer, Ate a political pie; He stuck in his thumbs For political plums, And said, ‘‘Lives there greater man than 1?"" yh ail! AN UNWELCOME DISCOVERY. William Bird—"' This thing ws a fake. Not a single blade contains a seed.” THE NEW STYLE IN HOBBLE SKIRTS AS SEEN IN THE IN- DIAN TERRITORY. IT IS CALLED THE PAPOOSE SKIRT. The Wicked Wintertime. By WILBUR D. NESBIT. TH WIND is blowing wicked airs— I know they are not hymns, For all the trees, despite my stares, Dance in their naked limbs. They seem to think I give applause A further dance to rouse— I figure this, you know, because They know I see their boughs. Auto Suggestions. By DONALD A. KABN. T'S A LONG road that has no tacks. A tack avoided is a tire repaired. The race is to the swift, provided the constable doesn’t telephone ahead. On an auto honeymoon, love makes the world go round—but the engine demands gasoline, A honk in time may prevent a fine. The loudest horn doesn’t always belong to the biggest car. Motorists swear by their cars; pedes- trians at them. It’s a rare car that doesn’t carry more than one crank. Not What He Asked For. A SMALL boy hurried into the corner butcher shop and told the proprietor his mother wanted a nice, tender turkey for Thanksgiving, and she wanted it dressed. The butcher selected just such a bird from the lot in the window, and said with satis- faction, “‘Here’s a dandy, my boy—just what your mother wants!"" “No, it ain’t!’’ returned the youth. “That turkey hasn’t any clothes on!’’ To Serve a Purpose. Young lady—‘*Please show me your extremest style of hobble skirt."’ Salesgirl—*For yourselt?"" Young lady—'*No; for my chaperon."” comicbooks.com