Judge — October 22, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

That Little Reno! By LESLIE N. CURTIS. Dy ENO is situated on an island in the sea of matrimony. It is parted in the middle by the Truckee River, which flows from the Reef of Many Causes to the Harbor of Renewed Hope and More Trouble. The tide comes in regularly by the Southern Pacific, and the untied depart the same way. Reno is a winter resort for some people and a last resort for others. It consists of well- defined grounds, both outside and inside of courthouse. The town is laid out in sub- divisions and the inhabitants are laid out in court. The population is mixed, consisting of men, women, and lawyers, Hotel Refuge, on Evidence Avenue, contains separate suites and individual pillowcases. Rates dependent on alimony. Affinities and other luxuries, extra. Special department for family skeletons. DURING THE BLOW. The divorce mill is situated on Alimony Mr. Carey—"' May I offer my umbrella, Miss Gall ?"” Avenue, near Separation Street. It is used for grinding grounds and pulverizing reputa- to the city ordinance. Persons doubled ference with the license clerk. Bonds of tions. Scandal is a by-product, which isde- up witn pain are requested to redouble matrimony discounted at the courthouse. voured while fresh by a species of buzzard their efforts to leave the city. Broken No interest after six months. known as “the journ * Painless Motto of Reno—‘‘Part the speeding extraction of fees, life histories and = guest!” dramatic episodes a specialty. One - bottle of our Deadly Divorce Dope will oe - The Wherefore of It. eliminate husbands, wives, and other AUD Muller, on a summer's day, pests in six months. Assumed names, |! Ka . wine ne nenseeesens new or second-handed, delivered at your . 4, Her gait was clumsy, awkward, slow, door upon request. 'Phone 23. . : For she wore a hobble skirt, you know. The style of dressing in Reno is dis- - tinctive. Neckties, home ties, and = Proof. railroad ties are being gradually elimi- F < pmsete. First passenger—'That is Conductor nated. Wardrobes consist, in most Punchem. He is one of the most ex- cases, of two suits—Sunday and legal. "rr" A POOR RULE THAT DOESN'T WORK BOTH WAYS!” perienced men on the road."” Contested varieties occasionally in evi- Second passenger—"'1 knew it before dence, but are not popular. The Renocity hearts mended at the DoubleCross Hospital. you told me."” government is unduly severe. All trains ar- Left-over husbands and wives may re-enter First passenger—"‘ How 80?” riving in the city are uncoupled, according the United State(s) by collusion and acon- Second passenger—‘Because he slams the door at the precise instant that he calls the station’s name.” Trade Phrases Nationalized. 667 HERE’S a Reason’’— It’s election year again. “57 Varieties'"’—Of Democrats, Socialists, et al. isn't Scratched Yet’? — The Stand-pat voter. “Add Hot Water and Serve'’—Conservation soup. “His Master's Voice’’—Pinchot hears it. “It Floats’’— Any old bond issue. “The Taste Lingers'’—Once a grafter, ways a grafter. The Travels of a Joke. OME time you've seen a real joke, That gave some folk or fad a poke, In such a way, in such a place, You couldn’t keep a solemn face. Most like, Jupce birthed that quip so gay That's ‘‘mirth insurance’ any day. A Strange Bird. Little Bob (just started in school) — “Uncle Harry, what is the bird with the QUITE REASONABLE. biggest bill?” Abner, jr-—"* Say, paw, our best brindle cow is daown on th’ village 1x a-eatin’ ov all th’ tin cans abe Uncle Harry (who is still thinking of the Aer, ini We, what oo?” night before)—"A quail, my boy, a quail— ‘Abner, jr—"* Nawthin’, only 1 thoaght mebbe she 'd be givin’ us condensed milk soon."" on toast.’” kin comicbooks.com