Judge — October 22, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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Our Puritans Your heretics burned heretics. burned Puritans. Many of our best Many of yours don’t families are be- need it—their an- ing supported _cestors fixed it for by graft. them, Our houses are Yours are like cold- like steam __ storage plants, ovens. What can be worse than our habit- ual use of ice- |__ water? We have no inter- esting ruins. We think toomuch of ourselves. Our struggle for equality is comic, Your habitual of absinthe. use You have no modern plumbing. So do you. Yours is tragic. Many of your cor- tutions have be- —ruptions have be- come corrupt. come institution: Our custom house You doubtless have is obnoxious. bandits of your own. —Wallace Irwin, in the Metropolitan, IN | | THE LAUNDRY. | row and reproach. ‘*You've drinked up ‘The cuffs of the poet and how they affect the help.—Fliegende Blactier What We Can Do. | We can’t all smoke ten-cent cigars Or own a limousine, But we can all collect the bands And smell the gasoline. —Detroit Free Press. He Woke Up. Senator Gallinger, in an address at Concord, N. H., said of a political op- ponent: ‘He isn’t half so well off as he thinks he is. He'll wake up with a | start one of these days—like Mr. Fa cett. Mr. Fawcett, entertaining an un- expected guest at luncheon, said, as they sat down to table, \ ““«My dear sir, will you have some of the sliced bologna sausage or—or’— His eye darted frantically all over the table, and he concluded, ‘Or not?’ ""— Washington Star. Unpleasant Reminders. “I've called my new song, ‘Falling Dew.’”” “Then, my boy, it will never be popu- | lar. It is too strongly suggestive of household bills and commercial notes.”* —Boston Transcript. Mothers will sind Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup th best remedy for their chidren’ bea betes 7 | Don’t take your sorrows one at a time | Rey ‘THE HOSPITALITY AND GOOD CHEER OP HOST OR HOSTESS SHOULD INCLUDE HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE ‘THE RICHEST PRODUCT OF THE BEST OP MARYLAND'S FAMOUS DISTILLERIES id at all first-clasa cates and by jobbers M.'LANAUAN & SUN, Haitimore, Ma An Aquatic Tragedy. When visitors came, Bobby was often turned out of his room and into the garret for a night or two. He did not object to this, but he felt that it endan- gered certain cherished posse: When his uncle, the clergyman, ar- rived unexpectedly one night, Bobby was transferred to his garret quarters in haste and with small ceremony, and neglected to take any precautions to guard his treasures. have to thank the thoughtful per- son who placed a glass of water on the table near the bed last night,"” said the | clergyman, the next morning. ‘I awoke in the night and found it re freshing—most refreshing.” “Oh!"" said Bobby, in a tone of sor- who are not smoking enjoy yours. my nice, new ‘quarium, and all” rie 25¢ But here Bobby’s revelation was sup- pressed by his mother.—Youth’s Com- panion, Poor Fellow. Sympathizing friend—*You are al- busy, aren't you? Blyggyns—*Yes. Somebody has to! work while all these other fellows are) out playing golf and baseball and dow to the aviation meet.’”. nal, Phi | ORIGINAL li pMorris | Cigarettes Somerville Jour, | GET MARRIED— | able people from all sections Irate pa—*Did you tell that young Protestants, Catholics, et. man who calls on you every night I was | —_ Matrimonial paper with si- vertixements of marriage No Light Needed. going to have the gas promptly at ten p. m. Daughter—‘*Yes, papa.’” Irate pa—‘‘And what did he say to that?’ Daughter—‘He said he would con- sider it a personal favor if you would have it turned off at eight-thirty.”"—| London Tit-Bits, Make a Job Lot. turned a VEINS, ® BADE AD LEGS And carefully munch "em; It makes ‘em last too bloomin’ long— Bunch ‘em, boy, bunch ’em! —St. Paul Dispatch, SIS" SSEKINS Peres Chartreux N AXD YELLow— The original and genuine Chartreuse has alwa been and sill is made by the Carthuuan Monks (Peres Chartreus), who, since their expulsion frum France, Rave been located at Tarragona, Spain; and, although the old labels and insignia originated by the Monks have becn adjudaed by. the Federal Court of thin country to be sill the exclusive property of the Monks, theur world-renowned product is owadays kno “Liqueur Peres Chartreax At frvt-clas Wine Merchants, Groce wa as cates, Sule Agents for United States. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated.