Judge — October 15, 1910 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ae GREAT AMERICAN PIE BELT. Modern Public Highwaymen. HE PEOPLE of the city are not the only ones who pay tax money for the build- ing and improvement of st-eets and high- ways that never is spent on the roadways, And this condition in the country gave John Winters a chance to say one of his occa- sional good things. It was at a town meet- ing. The people of his village could not understand how the money appropriated for roads had vanished with such negative re- sults, and some of them attended this meet- ing of the selectmen to discuss the matter. Astretch of road along Winters’s prop- erty was in notoriously bad condition, al- though he declared he had paid liberally to JUDGE have it put in good or- der. There was general interest when he rose to make his statement be- fore the meeting. “I'd just like to say one thing,’’ he drawled, regardless of the fact that he had interrupted an indignant neighbor. “T don’t want to make any fuss whatsoever, but I'd just like toask this honorable board of public highwaymen "’— And that was as far aa he got. A roar of laughter drowned his further words and showed its effects in the red faces of the “high- waymen"’ — and, later, in the improvement of the before-mentioned roadway. GOOD ROADS VS, GOOD AIR “ Are you interested in the good roads mcvement?"” “On, no; I've got an aeroplane." Dangerous Turns. Te LATE revelers were struggling along the avenue in the wee hours, when one of them made a sudden lunge and almost landed in an areaway. “Look out there, my man!" big policeman in the sh: you almost turned turtle! “Bunny,"’ whispered the other companion, in awed tones, ‘Bunny, don’t try to walk any farther. Let's call ataxi.’’ cautioned the ws. “That time THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. “‘Whash matter?’’ demanded his com- panion thickly. “Matter?” Why, m-matter enough! Offi- cer said you almost t-turned turtle. N next thing you'll turn to an alligator or a sword- fish or something, and we'll b-both land in th: ‘ bug ward!’ "" A LE by any other name would still be just as poor an excuse, 1. “ Listen, children, and 1 'll tell yee how I rescued the bootiful Princess Oftygoof and restored her to her father, the King of Hullabaloo, Fer days we drifted through a heavy fog and lost our bearin's. — All of a suddent the fog lifts, and we finds ourselves scuddin’ before the wind up the main street of a bootiful city. Blow me tight, if we wuzn't ! —— 3. —— Then as we passes a ploomy-lookin’ castle I hears a faint cry fer help away up in the tower, and I looks uj» and sees a ravish= in’ maid behind heavy bars.— 4. —— Well, 'twas impossible to climb up there; but jist then I happens to think of the trained flea that I picked up in Naples, so I gives him the end of a rope, and with one bound he jumps up to the winder ! —— ‘That flea then fastens the rove f the bars. I clmbs up the rope, basts the bars with me fist, and slides down the rope with the princess, while the trusty flea holds her wicked Jailer back ! ©. —— Then we claps on full sail and bowls outer that city with a trail of pursuers behind us, while the bootiful princess dances the hornpipe with the bug. ‘And scrape me barnacles, if the King of Hullabaloo didn't make me a Knight of the Bilewater fer bringing back his lovely darter !"* comicbooks.com