Judge — September 17, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JU While Rock American Water for American People IMPERIAL EXTRA DRY CHAMPAGNE Judge is published weekly by the LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Western Apvertistna Orrice: Marquette Building, Chieayo, Il. Entered at New York as Second-class Mail Matter One year, oF 52 numbers Six months, or 26 numbers Thirteen weeks = Subseriptions payable in advance by draft on if by express of postal onler, not by Gre at a discount in New York rostage free in the United States, its dependen- cies, and Mexico, To Canadian Provinces adi postage ; to all foreign coun| Successful Reformation. “My first wife married me to reform Of wha’ “Being a bachelor.”* “Well, she succeeded in that, any- should twice since." I've been married gland Leader, Rule of Contrary. “Ma, you send me to bed when I am | not sleepy and make me get up when I am sleepy!” complained little Tommy. —Red Hen, A bottle of Abbott's Bitters should be on every . mous ~ from Ve table to serve with the soup course. Sample by mail, %5 eta. in stamps, C. W. Abbott & Co, Baltimore Hear. I can hear a it probably never occurs to him that there is nothing in this wide world that anybody can hear but a noise.— Purple Cow. DGE Eprtor Jupce— Permit me to con- appropriateness of your illustration in last week's production of JupcEe, en- titled, ‘‘He Was an Expert Swimmer."’ You should have this picture en- larged, made decorative and attractive, and then endeavor to have it framed and placed in a conspicuous place in every home, den, bachelor’s quarters, club, bungalow, and public library in the countr, It will take its proper position side by side with Life's now well-known picture of the celebration of the Fourth of July. I have really wondered why no artist ‘has thought of this subject before. have lost several of my best friends by drowning—have had one or two of them drown quite near me—all fine swimmers. What happens to these men in the water to cause them to drown is to me a most serious and in- teresting question. The old theory of what was called ‘‘cramps’’ will not do. It does not to my mind satisfactorily explain what happens to trained men, in the best of physical condition, to cause them to forget and fail to use all the well-thought-out and carefully drilled precautions against drowning, and cause them to throw up their hands in despair and sink to the bottom. Al- though a fair swimmer myself and fond of the water, I have had my lesson, and its treachery has been effectually im- pressed upon me. |” Again my congratulations, and may your picture teach well its much need- ed lesson. Yours very truly, Georce Demine, Attorney-at-law, Philadelphia, Pa. TIT FOR TAT. gratulate you on the timeliness and the | The Letter Box. Answer to Correspondent. Eprtor June I look as if I had a beard up my back, Can you tell me some simple exercises to change this, which I can take night and morning, as I am a stenographer ii York, having to leave for the train at six o'clock, on the D. L. and W. Rai road, and have no time during the day? Broomstick. Certainly. Your case is a peculiarly simple one. All you need do is to rise at three and alternate between standing on your head and turning somersaults along an imaginary race track around your room. Pull out the bed from the wall, if necessary, and lay comfortables on the floor so as not to disturb others in the house. Keep this up for two hours and a half, dress hurriedly, ard eat a light breakfast of cereal and a glass of skimmed milk, and run for the train, You will thus feel refreshed for your day’s work. You could easily practice these also on the office floor while your employer is at lunch. Re- peat, as in the morning, after you reach home at night, and a good night’s rest is assured you. These exercises will limber your back, so that by the end of a month its shape will no longer concern you. The motto of the bill collector is ‘*No sooner said than dun.''—Philadelphia | Record. 2.“ This T was ju bat I . “That old crow has hung a pair of dripping trousers right over my seat."” Mutual Admiration. y Lord Eldon, p beaut exclaimed, ng a fa- What a lov “What an excellent judge!’ was the comment of the lady, who had over- heard the remark.—Red Hen. Thirsty. Extract from a young lady's letter ice: ‘Last night I lay “ gondola in the Grand Canal, drink -|all in, and life never seemed so full be- WITH SEPTEMBER NUMBER Sis Hopkins fore.""—Lippincott's, Ambiguous. A daily paper contained the following advertisement: ‘A piano for sale by a Indy about to cross the channel in an oak case with carved legs."’—Red Hen. Most of the excitement of life is hunting for some.—N. Y. Press. is too much, when 3. st ready to sit down, will fix her."* “Now I will go down to the kitchen and start up the fire a bit with soft coal."" |. Holy smokes ! What is this 2" Mieggendorfer Blactter. Jokes on the Married People. (By way of change.) Friend—“Now that you have been; ‘married some time, old friend, will tell me frankly your opinion on the marriage state.”” Much-married man (to his wife) “Just go outside, my dear, will yor —Fliegende Blactter, Flubdub says he is thinking seri- W or thre Bleed to think Topics, “What's the matter with that child now? They're playing house and George won't let her go through his pockets.”’ —Chicago Record-Herald, Mothers will tind Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the | best remedy for their children. 25¢ a bottle. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. “But why do you talk of getting a divorce; you told me yourself that I make biscuits just like your mother used to mal “That's the -yeuwente ~Mataton Post. “The man I marry must have com: mon sense,’” said the haughty one. “He won't,"’ the other answered, bitterly. —Bugalo Express. The only time a woman can ery more hountifuliy than over going away on a is when she gets back home again. Pop, what do men mean by circum- stances over which they have no con- trol?’ cl few York Times. ives, my son."”: A woman who runs a house filled with a big family earns a lot of money, but she never gets it.—N. Y. Press.