Judge, 1910-08-27 · page 7 of 20
Judge — August 27, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satire and humor: **"Commercialized"** mocks exploitative sales tactics through the classic Spider-and-Fly fable. A merchant uses deliberately deceptive language—claiming to sell at losses while citing endless excuses (bankruptcy, relocation, competition)—to justify inflated prices. The satire targets predatory commercial practices masquerading as generosity. **"All-American Aviation"** critiques the naming of early aviation achievements. It questions why Americans call pioneering aviator Hamilton the "American Paulhan" (referencing French aviator Louis Paulhan) rather than giving him an American name. The poem sarcastically suggests using American products' names instead, mocking the era's tendency to diminish American accomplishments through foreign nomenclature. **"The Yarns of Captain Fibb"** is a humorous tall tale about a sailor whose kindness to a woodpecker leads to rescue from mutineers—the bird pecks him free from a hollow tree. It's lighthearted adventure fiction with no political content. The page exemplifies Judge's mix of economic criticism, nationalist sentiment, and entertainment humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ’ GOING SOME. Professor Aviator—" This ts the time of my life.” Commercialized. by ELLs 0. soxes. “ ‘ON’T you walk Wr vores lor?” said the Spider to the Fly. ‘I have some beautiful bar- gains with which I think I can ensnare you if you will give me but half a chance. Although at no time do laim to make any |< profit on my sales—as it is my regular prac- tice to sell eighty-five- doliag articles at four- teendollars ,and nine- ty-thfee cents—just mb etrccoesi ok a beckward season and’a fire and a dissolution of partnership and a receivership and the necessity of moving to a better location and the desire to confound my competitors, I am not considering cost at all; but, on the contra- have placed prices at such a low point that I am almost ashamed to tell you about it, for fear you will not believe me. “Won't you walk into my parlor?" AN ARTIST'S’ EXPRESSION "'PIGMENT." : st All-American: Aviation. By WILLIAM J. LAMPTON. American Paulhan.— Hamilwoo's feats jastity calling hi Tribune HY CALL him,the American Paulhan? Why not the American Ham? For pork has gone up and:is staying Along with the beef and the lamb. All these are American products, And why should we aviate In American air conditions With a foreign name on the plate? “AN EXCELLENT method of avoiding ants at picnics is to hold your picnics ‘on your own parlor floor or else to avoid them altogether, The latter method has the ad- vantage of being the more restful. THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. # 1. ‘Tt sure does pay to be kind to dumb creatures. Oncet when I wuz ashore in South Americy I took a walk inter the woods. I saw a starvin’ woodpecker, so I feeds him some grain I had in me pocket.—— 2. —— But all of a suddent I wuz grabbed from behind and bound hand and foot! It wuz One-eyed Ike and Spike Marlin, the smiutineers ! — oGGD Fine! a ree mone Hr veews anor BC Uy 4 ei 10 con aT) faye “Rigo oN 3. —— They chucks me inter a hollow tree and nails up the openin’, so help me, Bob! And it looks like me busy and adventurous life would soon fizzle out.— 4. — But bimeby I hears a peckin’ on the tree-trunk outside, and then a ray of hope comes inter me despairin’ heart! —~ 5. —— Purty soon daylight comes through, and souse me binnacle glims if it wuzn't me old friend the woodpecker a-peckin’ away fer dear life! — 6. —— Well, I wuz soon able to crawl out, and then I hops inter a skiff, pulls out to the ship, and nips them murderous mutineers jist as they wuz aboat to up-anchor and slip away.” comicbooks.com