Judge, 1910-08-20 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 20, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"The Poof and the Piffle"** (left): An allegory mocking muckraking journalists and crusading reformers. Ellis Parker Butler satirizes writers who dramatically expose corruption—graft in Congress, adulterated food, monopolies—with theatrical outrage ("They blew the loud Bazookus"), only to later laugh it off as mere entertainment ("poof!" "piffle!"). The satire suggests these crusaders weren't genuinely motivated by conscience but by the noise and attention such writing generated. **Other brief comedic sketches** populate the right side—wordplay about marriage, cooking, dairy farming, and a final joke about a boy prioritizing train travel over dramatic death. These are disconnected humor items rather than unified political commentary. The overall page reflects Judge's satirical approach: deflating pretension and exposing hypocrisy in American public discourse, particularly targeting self-righteous reformers who wielded outrage as performance rather than principle.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HORSEPOWER. The Poof and the Piffle. An Allegory. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER. T WAS a hot-eyed Piffle And a fierce, upraging Poof; They hailed from Pennsylgi And they wrote things with a whoof. They wrote of Cash in Congress, Of Senators and Wealth; Of How They Graft in Goshen; Of Robbing Us of Health. They wrote in wildest phrases, With wordy “ biggs ” and “* bings ""; They felt a Call of Nature For the Showing-Up of Things. They wrote of Trusts and Tariffs, Of Guile in Wienerwurst; Of Marble-dust in Puddings, And How A Richman Burst. They wrote to Right the Evil; They filled the Magazines; They spoke a High Ambition To expose Behind the Scenes. They Felt the Need of Speaking Some Words of Warning Clear, To do away with Boodle And Rosin in our Beer. They blew the lovd Bazookus, They beat the loud Whingwhang, They Sweated and they Swatted And Hoped the Thieves might Hang. They filled the world with Clamor, With Gnashing, and with Noise; And we who read decided That they were Bully Boys. We thought they were in Earnest, They Howled so Loud and Long; We thought it was for Conscience They Biffed the Big Brass Gong. But when we asked them frankly, Their laughter raised the roof. “Oh, poof!'’ exclaimed the Piffle. “Oh, piffle!”” cried the Poof. DISSOLVING PARTNERSHIP, A Boarding-house Seashore. 6 \ OTHER, I have been in to swim.” “Yes, my darling daughter ’— “Thang my clothes on my bonnet pin, ‘Then I turned on the water."” A Culinary Paradox. OOKS may be scarce—they seem to be, Although I now and then discern A hint in those that cook for me— The truth is that we've cooks to burn! THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION. Farmer—"' There ain't no yaller streak in this ‘ere herd." Prospectrve purchaser—"'How about their milk?" Low Temperature.” F A MARRIED man éomes home a little late in the day, he finds his supper cold; if he comes home a little late at night, he finds his wife cold. Ea wits the exception of those em- ployed by the United States mint, few people in this country are willing to be paid in their owncoin. THE FASTEST BOAT IN THE BAY. A Difference. 4¢ J DON’T believe my husband has ever deccived me in his life,’’ said the pretty young matron. “How long have you been married?” asked the bachelor who was beginning to get gray around the templ “Three years next June. “ And you have perfect faith in your hus- band? That's very interesting, I assure you. If I could feel positive that a sweet, beautiful woman could believe ia me you say you believe in your husband, I think I might be tempted to’’—— “Oh, but I haven't said I believe in my husband or have faith in }'m."" “You just said he «.d never deceived you. “Yes; but I didn’t say he had never tried.”” HE BOY stood on the burning deck, Strained his eyes, and said, ** By heck! I would rather sink than be Rushing for that train I see!"” comicbooks.com