Judge — August 20, 1910 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fak legged D 99 oa Clown and 9y is 15 "Has been With a is 1S Monorogis 9 This co All me pF P is 4 A Phantasmagoria. THOUGHT I saw a gunny sack A-walking down the street. I looked again, and, lawsey me! ‘That gunny sack had feet! Says I to ma, * What can that be?” Says she, ‘“ Why, Hiram Brown, That's just our summer boarder, In her one-piece linen gown!"” To Be Sure. HE LARGER stars form the constel- lations,"" says the teacher; ‘ but of what is the Milky Way composed?"” “De udder stars, o’ course," offers the boy with one suspender. THERE isn’t any doubt The railroads would make hay, If they could only raise The rate to Oyster Bay. Not by words, but by deeds has Vans Ale eon its way It never bat forged ahead by its worth —Evans’ Ale is good because it is Evans’ Saloons, Dealers Wudson, N. Ve Restaurants, Hotel VANS & SONS, JUDGE BAS 86 Bi pbb Magbelb cut fo balf an bour a rill, e er line Slrong — showing wondrous powers This is Vaudeville. maids wi olden little ng tn bei mrasFin Na udeville. rima-donna, fa FE rauveus frill, B lack faced dan eer laudeville ounds els a lau plete. ra au Hegre ro Teene- When the Burglar Comes. From “The OONER or later a burglar comes to every home. He is as inevitable as bills and usually makes as clean a sweep. All women are distant to burgl: so when he comes you have a lifetime chance to put yourself on a pedestal. Then is the time to put on your crown, husbands. When the door screaks downstairs or you hear the silver rattle, slip quietly out of bed and into a bathrobe—you can never tell who your burglar will be and it’s so embarrass- ing to meet a lady burglar otherwise. Tell your wife to lie perfectly still and to have no fears unless there is a squad of burglars. This the husband’s one triumphant mo- ment. Then he rises to his dream moments. Almost any husband can be a hero to his wife when there’s a burglar downstairs. That’s the only time a wife really appreci- ates a husband. She likes to have one around then—a husband, of course. As you get ready, be perfectly calm. Hum a low tune or passa clever quip. Pick up your revolver, turn the cylinder once, and disgustedly say, ‘“Shucks, it’s out of order!"’ then put it back. That not only shows your hero stuff, but will tell you how much your wife loves you. Then slip nonchalantly downstairs, un- armed, and seize your burglar. A little in- genuity on your part will bring this about. Don’t bother about how to do it—such little things aren't worth the worry. Hold him until the police come, then go quietly back 1s Household Helper. and drop into bed with a yawn. When your wife starts to talk, simply mutter sleepily in your pillows, “It’s provok- ing—only one for all that trouble!” and turn over on your side. You'll be surprised what effect it has on your wife. The Great Inventor. by ROY K. MOULTON. GREAT inventor once there was, who gained renown both far and nigh. An airship he invented that would do almost anything but fly. He then got up a patent gun, designed to make an army scoot. He tried it out. The only thing that gun refused to do was shoot. He didn’t get discouraged, but he built a dandy, new lifeboat. It proved to have but one defect, and that was that it wouldn’t float. He worked upon a touring car. "Twas ten years ere he had it done. It was a beauty, and the only thing about it was it wouldn't run, He then got up an eight-day clock. Its pattern was, in fact, sublime. It did all that it was supposed to do, ex- cepting tell the time. From science, then, he sadly turned, for somehow science didn’t pay. A stock scheme he invented, which made him a million in a day. MOTHER'S “NOTIONS” GOOD FOR YOUNG PEOPLE TO FOLLOW. “My little grandson often comes up to show me how large the muscles of. his arms are. “* He was a delicate child, but has de- veloped into a strong, healthy boy, and Postum has been the principal factor. “I was induced to give him the Postum because of my own experience with it. “Tam sixty years old and have been a victim of nervous dyspepsia for many years, Have tried all sorts of medi- cines and had treatment from many physicians, but no permanent relief came. I believe nervous dyspeptics suffer more than other sick people, as they are affected mentally as well as physically. “* TL used to read the Postum advertise- ments in our paper. At first I gave but little attention to them, thinking it was a fraud like so many I had tried; but finally something in one of the ad- vertisements made me conclude to try it. “*T was very particular to have it prepared strictly according to direc- tions, and used good, rich cream. It was very nice, indeed, and about bed- time I said to the members of the fam- ily that I believed I felt better. One ‘ That's an- but the no- has not left me yet. I continued to improve right along after leaving off coffee and taking Postum, and now after three years’ use I feel so well that I am almost young again. 1 know Postum was the cause of the change in my health and I cannot say too much in its favor. I wish I could persuade all nervous people to use it. Read ‘‘ The Road to Wellville,”’ found in packages. ‘‘ There’s a Reason.” Ever read the above letter? A mew one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest.