Judge — August 13, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Handful of Limericks. by WILLIAM J. BURTSCHER. INDEX FIN HERE was a great man named Theodore, Who tried his best to be a bore— Made bows to the Kaiser, Made John Bull wiser, And said, ‘* How these people me adore!"” MIDDLE FINGER. There was a prize-fighter named Jack, Whose color they tell me was black ; He entered the ring And didn’t do a thing But keep Big Jeff from coming back. RING FINGER. There was a young maiden named Kate, Who often plain facts would misstate; Till one day her ma Remarked to her pa, “ We must call the child prevari-Kate.”” LITTLE FINGER. a politician named Bryan, ig office was sighin’; So he ran times three, And he sa: he, “I'm willin’ to keep on a-tryin’. No Use. «¢ ] UNDERSTAND,” says the first Roman to the father of Demosthenes, “‘ that you are accused of filling your son’s mouth with pebbles.” JUDGE Not So Much, After All. Loarte I éid not know." Ne E CAN do that, too, and without much trou- ble at that! Here are twelve things about the Louvre, offhand, that we're sure M. Michel doesn’t know, and, what is more, never will know: 1, The Louvre was founded in 1908 by Andrew Carnegie. 2. Most of the Michael Angelos in the Louvre were painted by James Whitcomb Riley, of Indiana, before he became a poet. 3. The original of the famous Mona Lisa was an American lady named Carrie Nation, but was not considered satisfactory because the painter forgot to put in the axe. Mrs, Base Ball. black cotton dress.” ‘Mrs. Golf Ball— what will she do ?'* CHECKED IN TIME. Ostrich—'* What are you trying to do with the youngster, George? Make both ends meet ?"” Giraffe—"' Not exactly that. stoop-shouldered."’ “ Yes,"” acknowledges the other; “ but it doesn’t do any good. His mother and I have tried and tried to stop him from reciting, ‘Curfew Shall Not Ring To-night,’ but what's the use?” ‘His first toot at one year. Playing train, he toots at five. ‘The school desks don't fit him very well, and he was getting 4. The present Rubens Gallery in the Louvre is the place where Julius Cesar was murdered by Rizzio, the favorite of the Dowager Empress of China, on the evening of July 4th, 1776. His football toot at 16. SSS MERE MATTER OF DRESS. * There goes that Mrs. Spool-of-Thread, still wearing that Poor dear; she will be worn threadbare before long, then 5. The south facade of the Louvre was con- structed from granite blocks taken from the old Croton Aqueduct, in New York, which were sent to France in charge of the Mar- quis of Lafayette as a token of our esteem. 6. None of the paintings now in the Louvre are originals, these having been pur- chased from time to time by American col- lectors and copies substituted. 7. Sight-seeing coaches are shortly to be introduced into the Louvre for the benefit of busy Antericans who wish to see it all in eight minutes. 8. None of the Botticellis in the Louvre are genuine, having all beer painted by a man named Vermicelli, of the famous Maca- roni School of southern Italy. 9. The original building of the Louvre was built for Louis XIV., to be used asa garage; but, when it was finished, the King discovered that automobiles had not yet been invented, and it was therefore turned into a bowling alley. 10. Thomas Jefferson wrote that famous document, the Payne tariff bill, seated on a turnstile leading into the Papal Apartments in the left wing of the Louvre. 11. It was in the main entrance of the Louvre that Napoleon Bonaparte pronounced “* Beautiful Snow ”’ the finest poem that had ever been written by a Russian. 12, The famous Venus of Milo, now in the Louvre, is merely a replica of the Sunset Cox statue in New York, with the frockcoat and the trousers removed. . If M. Michel wants any further informa- tion on this subject, we shall be glad to ac- commodate him at any time, at space rates. ‘The school tooter at 35. The auto toot receives his attention at 0 comicbooks.com