Judge — August 6, 1910 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hier L BEER THE CHAMPAGNE Or BoTTLED MILLE JUDGE FE R-MILWAUKEE (From Leslie's Budget of Fun 1860) Ge-lang! Git Up! * The drops of rain were falling fast, When up through Camp Street quickly passed An omnibus, whose driver sung, In accents of the Celtic tongue, Ge-lang! git up! His mules were lank, his whip was lon He touched them with the biting thon And as they switched their threadbare | tails, This sound the listening ear assails, Ge-lang! git up! Along the street, on every side, Were damp ones waiting for a ride. | They called, they yelled, they raised a fus: But cried the driver of the ‘bus, Ge-lang! git up! “Hold on, hold on!"? an old man said, And waved his hand above his head, Crack went the whip and all could hear A sharp sound echoing on the ear— Ge-lang! git up! top, driver, stop!"’ a maiden called. Stop, stop!"? a dozen voices bawled. The driver looked on neither side, But still in clarion voice replied, Ge-lang! git up! Far up the street a sound was heard, And through the dis That fell on many a w Like hope’s lugubrious funeral toll— Ge-lang! git up! That night the driver went to bed; All through his troubled sleep he said | The aoe strange words which he had | flun; All day from his Jebuie tongue— Ge-lang! git up! Chickens a la Mode. Little Willie was visiting rélatives in the city. His mother had ‘warned him to be on his good behavior and to avoid saying anything that might give offense. One day, when his aunt asked him at luncheon if he would have some curried chicken, he could not help show- ing his surprise. “Why, what’s the:matter, Willie?” inquired the aunt. ‘*Don’t you like curried chicken? i “Well, aunty, I can’t really say,”’ You see, on the farm we don't curry our chickens—we pick tem,” A little tot was placed on a chair in peas for dinner. After watching with much interest for a few minutes, she turned to the maid, Julia, and said, “Julia, get me down; I want to help grandma unbutton the peas."* Why is a young lady prepai dressing in her crinoline like a flow barrel? Because the hoops have to be raised before the head will go in. ‘atory to |that we have gone up? © raises nothing, the next y A Chicago Bank “Gone Up.” Have you anything deposited in the Marine Bank?" asked a grain specu- lator of a wholesale merchant, the other day. —some twenty thousand dol- replied the merchant, Well,’’ replied the grain man, ‘I suppose you have heard that the bank “gone up.’"* Gone up!"’ exclaimed the merchant, thunderstruck, ‘‘It can’t be!"” “Well, you go up and se And the merchant, in the most nerv- jous state of mind, rushed up Lake | Street to the Marine Bank. “Is it true,’’ he asked of the cashier, meeting him on the steps, ‘‘that your bank has gone up.” “Yes,"" said the cashier, smiling. The merchant became perfectly fra tie and tore his hair. “Yes—a very fine joke to be diddled out of nearly all the money I am worth! I want and must have my money!” And ed upstairs, nearly insane. Why, look here!’’ exclaimed the cashier, calling after him. He stopped. “I didn't suppose you were in ear- nest. It's been a joke here among our friends for over a week. Don’t you see Our building has been raised eight feet.”” The merchant instantly cooled down, | and, on looking across the street, saw the grain man standing on the sidewalk, almost bursting with laughter. The merchant shook his fist at him and then made chase after him down the street. | When last seen they were engaged in a very loud conversation in the Tremont | House barroom, shaking glasses. Caronl Bitters—Sample with patent dasher sent on receipt o t tonic and cocktail bit~ ters. Oct. C. Blache & Co.. N. Y., Gen'l Distra, A Loud Call. “Where are you going, mamma?” asked three-year-old Lawrence. “I am going calling,” replied the mother. “Are you going to take the baby?” asked Lawrence. “y Lawrence studied a moment, asked, ‘And will he holler, too?”” then “Cave Fele Freddie was playing in the kitchen with a kitten, In the play the cat amma, the pussy has a pi on his feet and it’s full of pins The Albany Knickerbocker says that there is a man in Greenbush who be- lieves in rotation of crops. One year he ar weeds, Mothers will tind Mrs. Winslow's Seothing Syrup the | best remedy for their children. 25e a bottle. “ All Kinds of Men To Make a World.” | A sage upon a lonely road O'ertook a weary fool, one day. “And if it please you,” said the clown, ““1'll walk with you to yonder town; it is a long and lonely way.”” Together up the hills they strode, ‘And paused where trees spread wel- come shade; The sage forget his aching fect, And smiled to hear the clown repeat The jests that were his stock in trade. The things the wise man said, in turn, The jester heard with many smiles; Forgetting all his cares and ills, He laughed upon the stony hills And bravely walked the dusty miles, | don Ah," thought the sage, “‘we live and | Lr learn; A fool may play a useful part!’’ “Old men who talk as children do May manage to be useful, too,”” The fool was thinking in his heart. —Chicago Record-Herald. A Summer Poem. mop at their mutter a mercury The heat's therefore This peek- outlines It doesn't Each blemish and It serves to But coolness, I trust, Will make an Its texture Just holes To let the You see And brows curse, climbs, getting 1 Men And The worse, write boo verse. thought And a of conceal, fault reveal; The appeal. sheer— thin; is gossamer are quite big, wind in. through it quick, find it a skin. —New York Sun, Pa’s Chances. When pa was young the times were ood Its g And every boy could have a chance; Then every one did all he could To help his fellow-man advance. There were no greedy billionaires Who tried to gobble everything; They never heard of Wall Street scares, And each man was an uncrowned king. Nobody cornered corn or wheat, ‘And nearly every day was bright; Then life was free from care and sweet, And no When pa ‘According to his worthiness; |No one could hope to gain a prize Without deserving his success. When pa was young the times were good, And every man could show his worth; There were no trusts, and brotherhood Extended everywhere on earth. Sometimes it seems the strangest thing That pa should not be rich and glad, Instead of poor, considering The splendid chances that he had. —Chicago Record-Herald, Judge is published weekly by the LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY. 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Wester Apvextisinc Orrice: Marquette Building, Chicago, I. Entered at New York as Second-clase Mail Matter One year, or &2 numbers Six months, or 25 numbers ‘Thirteen weel Subscriptions payable in advance by: draft oa New York, or by express or post mot by | local checks which are at @ discount in New Yor’ City. Postage free in the United States, its dependen- cies, and Mexico. To Canadian Provinces add {9 cents a year for postage ; to all foreign countries add $1.00 a year. pELIOTEAN, Aamnere — International News. Com. B.C Lon. 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