Judge — August 6, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Best Hammock. By CHARLES C. JONES ] HAVE swung in costly hammocks that were of a rare design, Highly colored, fringed and with a cushion for my he I have talked with merry mai blood was like to wine, As we swung beneath the maples when the distant west was red; I have drowsed and dreamed in hammocks where the breezes whispered low Through the screened and shaded porches, blowing fresh from off the waves; But the kindest, sweetest mem’ry is of days of long ago, In a hammock manufactured out of wire and barrel staves! tasseled, ens and my Oh, I seem to see it swinging ‘tween the oak and locust trees, As it did when I lay reading, through a lazy summer da: “Treasure Island,"’ ‘‘ Leather Stocking,"’ or some other tale like these, Till I felt Adventure grip me, calling, calling, ‘* Come away !"" Then my mother’s call to supper took me slowly strolling in, With the stave's imprint upon me and with strange desire to roam. Keep your fringed and tasseled beauties! for they do not e’en begin To compare with that stave hammock in the old backyard at home! HE MOVED. Move on !"" Who are you ?”” First bu Second First bug— Some Lies Nailed. QYINE resignations in ten are of incen- diary origin. Horses kick; mules rarely do, outside of newspapers. He is never on his knees when she con- she is on them. Normal men are not glad when their wives *‘ go to the country.’’ No man ever‘ fought des- perately with a burglar for fally half an hour.’’ The best advice is not given away; doctors and lawyers sell it. No father ever kicked a respectable young man out of his house on any occasion. It hurts to do this, but no office-boy ever said his grandmother was dead in order to get away to a ball game. HE lower the cut, the higher the price—in women’s dresses. I'm the officer on this beet."" JUDGE Mother Goose in Reno. by WILL BRERETON IDE a cock-horse to Banbury Cross, To see a fair lady apply for di- vorce! With rings on her fingers and cash in her hos She can get husbands wherever she goes. With ry Sing a song of alimony, ing it with a sigh! and twenty plunks a week, ‘o pay until I die. When the case was opened, I laughed aloud with glee; But wasn’t that a lemon—say!— For fate to fling at me? ry paration is vexation, Divorce is just as bad; The lawyer's fee perplexes me, And marriage drives me mad! ry Mistress Mary, quite contrary, How did you get your divorce? With lots of thrills and lawyers’ bills, And hubby's permission—of course! * To Reno, to Reno, to buy a decree; Home again, home again, happy and free. ‘To Reno, to Reno, on any pretext; Won again—gone again—who'll be the next? Suburbanites. 0 YOU live in the suburbs, too? do you get to the city?” I have an automobile. do you?” “1 go by asurer way; I take the trolley.” OPPORTUNITY knocks once at every door, but never knocks 80 loudly as the bill collector. How How HOW THE DACHSHUNDS SAW THE CIRCUS PARADE, States Meant. MONTHLY state-ment A weakly “ A personal : A graphic A written A decimal A false An historical A confident A rich A lump A spirited A medical A French Kan. Ore. R. I. Md. Va. «An emphatic 0. A neat A doubtful Bound To Get It. LIPPING his arm about the waist of the lissome maiden, the bold automobilist is about to implant a kiss upon her ruby lips when, his attention being thus distracted @ from the wheel, the machine attempts to climb a tree, jumps a fence, demolishes a barn, and comes to a stop against a stone wall. Five minutes later the maiden recovers conscious- ness and says to the young man, “Weren't you about to— to-—to kiss me when the ac- cident happened 2” Wy. A Misapprehension. INKS went to Newport and each day Bathed in the ocean with much vim. He had anotion, so they That this would land him in the swim.