Judge — July 16, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Leannot teil how the truth maw he: Teay the tale as “twas told to me.” All for Yale. At the recent Yale commencement, James J. Hill, president of the Great Northern Railroad system, was given the honorary degree of Doctor of Laws. His sons have already been graduated from Yale and his three daughters have each married a Yale man, In introducing Mr. Hill, President Hadley said, ‘‘His sons became Yale men, his daughters achieved Yale men and be has had being a Yale man thrust upon him. No Pigs for Butler. Ellis Parker Butler, whose short story, ‘Pigs Is Pigs,"’ attracted so much attention, does not keep pigs. He once tried it, according to Robert D. Heinl, the Washington correspondent of Leslie’s Weekly, but a neighbor would not stand for it. But the humorist got back at the neighbor by writing the following ode to the latter's horse: “The horse is a very useful kind of beast. It is of a nature both loving, gentle, and easily pleased; If rubbed down and fed it is more likely to be kind Than to act unchristian and go kicking out behind. Its life looks easy, just pulling wagons and rigs; But sometimes the wagon is loaded with bricks, And sometimes it is drove too hard and then watered too soon and gets sick and dies, And goes to mansions in the skies. Nothing is perfectly happy on earth, and neither is a horse, Which is apt to get afflicted with glan- ders and so forth, | Including ringbone, heaves, botts, sent as punishments from on high; And colic, blind staggers, collar sores, and pink eye. A Sense of Humor. At a recent dinner of the Authors’ Club, in London, Walter Emanuel, as- sociate editor of Punch, referred to the fact that the man with the largest sense of humor he had ever struck was an Englishman—a dentist. He went to him after suffering long with a tooth- ache. He refused to have gas, and the dentist pulled out a tooth, leaving him writhing in pain, and took the tooth to the window, where he laughed quite heartily. He groaned, ‘What's the joke?” ‘Wrong tooth!” said the den- tist. Automobile Picnics the Latest. There is little need for the man who owns an automobile to worry about where he will spend his vacation. The question is how often he wants to take it. All outdoor nature seems to con- spire to win his favor; pastures new and pleasure galore beckon him from all sides. And then! The delightful exclusive picnic lunch in shady grove by babbling brook—that’s the happy life made possible by the auto- | mobile. The picnic hamper is easily prepared. Broiled chicken, cold boiled Iebster, lettuce leaves and mayonnaise, a piece of cheese, and Evans’ Ale. The novelty of the outing and charm of the country will make the day one of cher- ished memory—a real and ideal touch A Discount. a} a Kingsford custard with tart berries, served cold. Or, with summer fruits, a del- icate sauce or cream—easy to make and hard to surpass. The Rev. Francis E. Clark, of Boston, | tells the following: “At a certain church it was—and doubtless is—the pleasing custom at a marriage for the clergyman to kiss the bride after the ceremony. A young lady who was about to be married in the church did not relish the prospect, and instructed her prospective husband when making arrangements to tell the clergy- man that she did not wish him to kiss her. The bridegroom did as directed. “«*Well, George,’ said the young lady when he appeared, ‘did you tell the clergyman that I did not wish him to kiss me?’ “Oh, yes. “*And what did he say?’ “*He said that in that case he would charge only half the usual fee.’"” What Should the Answer Be? Nat Goodwin, the well-known actor, has at present his fourth wife. When the census enumerator recently called, he asked Goodwin, “Are you single, married, or di- vorced?"” “Yes, * said Goodwin, KINGSFORD'S CORN STARCH , will help your juicy fruit pies, such as rhubarb and cherry. Used in the pastry, it keeps the under crust dry and tender. All thes: ing in Cook Book = F.F. < What ‘Cook Ought to Know About Corn ‘Starch *—168 of the best recipes book is youevertried. The ‘Send f: “four name on epost ring it. T. KINGSFORD & SON Oswego, N. Notional Starch Co., Successors lor card will A Startling Discovery. (Conctuded from preeeding page.) business, who wear their collars from sixteen to twenty hours a day, that we find the victims. It is there that we find the loss of appetite, the insomnia, the anemic emaciation; in fact, utter nervous breakdown and physical de- generation. “In view of these facts, I feel that I am sounding no sensational note in lay- ing to this malignant parasite, devel- oped under modern conditions of life, that tense unrest so deplorable among our business men, that strained excite- ment which must inevitably lay a blight | Upon posterity ard endanger the future‘ i THE EMBARRASSMENTS OF WAR. Outpost sentry and enemy's scout (simaultaneoaslyy—"'Halt | Hand: up .”” Sentry—"" "Ere! I said it first !"'—London Punch, As the Baseball Fan Saw It. When Judge Andrew Cobb tendered his resignation as justice of the Supreme Court of Georgia, an Atlanta lawyer and a shoe drummer sat in the same seat in an outgoing train. The lawyer bought a newspaper and looked over the headlines. Then he turned to the drummer and said, “Well, I see Cobb has resigned.”” “Gee!” said the drummer. “What will Detroit do now?” When a woman will admit she has ' Considerate. There had been a little quarrel after the honeymoon. ‘‘And just look at my inen collar,’ sobbed the young . “The tears have trickled down and wilted it out of shape. You haven't a bit of feeling!” “Indeed I have,'’ laughed the big husband. ‘I'm going to fix things up.’” H-how, George?” Why, the next time I go downtown I am going to buy you a new waterproof collar.’” a, Little Those who are not smoking enjoy yours. CAMBRIDGE in boxes of ten Philip Morris Cigarettes rs | 1,000 Island House ‘Alexandria Bay Jefferson County New York IN THE HEART OF THE THOUSAND ISLANDS ‘In the most enchanting spot in all America, where nature's charms are rarest, all the de- lights of modern civilization are added in the 1,000 Island House. No hotel of the’ Metropolis rovides greater living facilities or such luxurious comfort—real home comfort —as does this palatial summer retreat. ‘An amusement every hour, or quiet complete rest is the choice of every guest. GAll Drioking Water used in e house is filtered. Send two 2-cent stamps for Illustrated Booklet. G. STAPLES, Proprietor E.S.CLARK HARRY PEARSON Manager Chief Clark \JUDGE’S LIBRARY jyuuy NUMBER ‘big feet it’s because they aren't. In @ Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE. |10 cts.--All Newsdealers---10 cts. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. of the simple life near nature’s heart. comicbooks.com