Judge — June 25, 1910 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SMILES OF FIFTY YEARS AGO. A SELL. A countryman (farmer) went into a store in Boston the other day, and told the keeper that a neighbor of his had| intrusted him with some money to ex-! pend to the best advantage, and he, meant to do it where he was best| treated. He had been used very ill by | the traders in Boston, and he would not part with his neighbor's money until he found a man who would treat him about | right. With the utmost suavity the trader says, “I think Ican treat you to your like. ing. How do you want to be treated?” **Well,”’ says the farmer, with a leer in his eye, ‘in the first place, I want a) glass of toddy,’’ which was furthcom- | ing. ‘*Now, I will have a nice cigar,” says the countryman. It was promptly handed him, leisurely lighted, and then throwing himself | back, with his feet as high as his head, he commenced puffing away like a Span-| iard. “Now, what do you want to pur-| chase?" says the shopkeeper. Countryman—"My neighbor handed | me two cents when I left home, to buy him a plug of tobacco; have you got the article?’” a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon you sense the refreshing odor of hops. The moment you taste it you appreciate it has a delicate flavor and agreeable smoothness you have not enjoyed before in beer. Pabst BlueRibbon The Beer of Quality comes to you foaming and sparkling with good- “I suppose you 're one of those idiots | that touch wet paint to see if it’s dry?" “No, I'm not. Itouch it to see if it's wet.” London Punch, DID NOT WANT TO TAKE THE ADVANTAGE. A good story is told by the New Haven Register, of Bishop, who was sent down to New York with one of his fly-trap machines, as a “‘specimen num- ber.” A butcher should set it a-going in his shop, and in the course of half an hour something Jess than a peck of flies had been hived. The butcher was pleased, but concluded as the flies were all trapped he didn’t want the machine. “Very well,” said Bishop. “I'm a Yankee, and I won't take advantage of you by carrying off your flies’: and drawing the slide, he | liberated the whole swarm about ‘the butcher's ears, and beat a retreat under cover of a little the loudest buzzing ever heard in that vicinity. ness—the ideal beverage. satisfy your palate and agree with you at all times, order Pabst Blue Ribbon. Made and Bottled only by Pabst at Milwaukee For a beer that will You will find Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer everywhere—served on dining cars, steamships, in all clubs, cafes and hotels. Order a case to-day from your dealer. Pabst Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wis. A pert young lawyer once boasted to an old member of the bar that he once avo yr received fifty guineas for speaking ina | Sapleigh—‘Ah, i certain cause. ‘I received double that tricity, that makes me think" —— fies foc bolting my teneae,"" Miss Keen—‘Really, Mr. Sapleigh? rele: Isn't it remarkable what electricity can do?""—Boston Transcript An old bachelor is a traveler on life’s — railroad who has entirely failed to make pagel will find Mrs. Winslow’ + Soothing Srrep the the proper connections. est eecnedy foe thelr ehsldrsn, 6 s beet was the Who was the greate: butcher, according to si King Claudius, in ‘‘Hamlet, jurder most foul.’’ * replied the Tennessee executive, reaching fe a aaa ____|blank. “What are you guilty of? In @ Pinch, use ALLEN'’S FOOT-EASE. Philadelphia Ledger. speaking of elec-) Husband—'‘Say, Lottie! What have | you been copying Blankem's catalogue | years,’ ” Wife—"1 Blankem's catalogue at all—that’s just such a foolish way?” my shopping list.""—Harper’s Bazar. Country people make their own jam, A TIP FOR BURBANK. “I have been trying for twenty " said the poverty-stricken scien- tist, ‘*to find some use for thistles.” “Why do you waste your time in “Foolish? Don't say that. Think of the boon it will be to mankind if I EASY. succeed! As soon as any kind of SHE EXPLAINS. haven't been copying! Making money is like making love; can be found for them, they will quit easy after you get fairly started.— growing without being tenderly cared Atchison Globe. for.’’"—Chicago Record-Herald. Men don’t understand women because but people in the city get theirs in the ‘street cars. they can’t; women don’t understand men ‘because they don’t have to.—Ex. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com