Judge — June 25, 1910 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD SUMMER VACATIONS. . The time is coming for summer outings. Have you thought about yours yet? No country on the face of the globe contains so many delightful summer resorts as the United States, with its near neighbor, Canada. The Pennsylvania Railroad’s popular Summer Excursion Book issued on June 1, you will find a wonderful help in plotting out your summer trip. It contains descriptions of about eight hundred of the leading resorts of North America, lists of hotels and boarding houses at these various places, a map, routes and rates from the principal stations on the Pennsylvania Railroad, and other valuable information. If you have grown tired of the resort you have visited for years, you may make a selection from this book for a stay of a day, a week, a month, or the whole summer. You may plot out an extended tour covering mountain and seashore, or a fishing trip, or a hunting jaunt, by rail or boat or a combination of both. Any Ticket Agent of the Pennsylvania Railroad will be glad to furnish a copy of this valuable book for Ten Cents, or it will be mailed you postpaid, on receipt of Twenty-five Cents, by Geo. W. Boyd, General Passenger Agent, Philadelphia, Pa. JUDGE : “AND A LITTLE CHILD SHALL MAKE THEM SMILE.” HE WAY to a woman's heart is through her child, Evidently the publications for women are aware of this fact, judging by the amount of space they give to the bright sayings of children, Not long ago June called attention to the medicinal value of a hearty laugh. According to a reliable medical journal, ‘‘A good laugh is more potent than nervines and has greater medicinal value than all the tonics in the world."” Among the places—exclu- sive of the columns of June ‘where smiles and laughs can be found are the nursery and the schoolroom. Here are a few bits of pleasantry ‘‘ out of the mouth of babes’’: AN EXCHANGE WANTED. Virginia was noticing for the first time the creases of her little sister's neck and arms. Straight to her mamma she toddled. “Mamma, mamma!"’ she cried. “Baby is cracked! You must take her back and exchange her right away !"” A NEW SCIENCE. Walter L. Hervey, one of the ex- aminers in the city schools of Manhat- tan, recently asked a little girl what she studied. “Reading, writing, and gazinta,"’ “Gazinta? What is that?” y, two goes into four, and three goes into six,”’ the child explained. SUNDAY IS SUNDAY. There is a sermon for ‘children who have grown tall'’ in the words of the little tot who was told by her mother not to play in the front yard on Sunday. “But, mamma, isn’t it Sunday in the back yard, too? MISTAKE IN A SONG. The class was studying ‘Americ but when the words, ‘‘Land where my fathers died,’’ were reached, a child stood up and said, ‘‘My father ain't dead.” o A LA SCHOOL. It was Cora’s first year at school. The teacher had taught her to raise her hand when something was wanted. Recently she adupted the plan at home. Being sent by her mother to the hen house to gather the eggs, she said as she opened the door, ‘*All you hens that have laid eggs, flap your wings!" THE NEGLECTFUL COOK. Here is another of the “bright say- ings’ already referred to: At Sunda dinner the other day a little fellow was picking the drumsticks of a chicken and swallowed one of the tendons. After much difficulty it was removed from his throat, when he looked up and said, “Oh, mamma, it wasn’t the chicka- biddy’s fault; it was because cook for- got to take off its garters.” A LESSON IN GRAMMAR. Children—and some who are not chil- dren—have the habit of saying ‘have wrote’’ and ‘‘have went."" All attempts to break the habit prove futile. To break up the habit in a pupil, a teacher imposed the sentence of staying after school and writing ‘I have writ- ten’’ one hundred times. The task over and the teacher absent, the boy wrote, ‘I have wrote ‘I have written’ a hundred times and I have went home.”” TRUTHFUL BUT UNEXPECTED ANSWER. A teacher, after explaining the use of wool in the making of clothes, said, “Willie, can you tell me of what use wool is’ The boy thought for a while, but could not answer the question. Finally the teacher asked, ‘*Well, Willie, of what are your trousers made?"* Little Wil looked up with a flash of intelligence in his blue eyes and an- swered, ‘Out of father’s old pants."’ A STANDARD OF PURITY. A certain brand of baking powder is extensively advertised as being ‘‘abso- lutely pure." Doubtless its purity had been forced upon the mind of a ‘‘house- keeper of to-morrow," for she made this petition in her evening prayer: “Dear Lord, make me as pure as ——'s baking powder.” a A DEFENSE. % ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT. The JUDGE ne’ for jokes Which have been used before, Sader LET,ME wail the praise of the time-worn joke, With its one loud laugh which you plan to give, With its hackneyed phrase for the common folk, There be some who think that the women now Never get last word as they one time did. | With its clean-cut jibe you can ne'er outlive. | is a name outbid, Oh, the joke most fair, | And a joke to wear, And the joke that's there Is the time-worn joke! Let me make a plea for the time-worn joke, Which we never miss and we always get. In the eons past into life it broke, And of old and young it is still the pet. There be clever wits who would shun the old; And the jokesmith hunts, till his eyes grow dim, For the one new laugh that has not been sold By his fellow scribes who have outsearched him. Oh, the joke for me, And a joke to see (Won't you hear my plea?) 1s the time-worn joke! “MY LADY NICOTINE.” The other day J. M. Barrie was asked to say something about his method of work. On apiece of paper which evidently had once contained tobacco, he re- plied as follow: JOURNALISM. + 2 pipes equal 1 hour. 1 idea equals 3 paragraphs. | 8 pipes equal 1 ounce. the C.& Patent Omer. |Z Boces equal Lidea § paragraphsequal leader. | 7 ounces equal 1 week ISTIRE, Potent Atererra, Washington, By 2 weeks equal 1 chapter. JULY NUMBER All Newsdealers, 10 JUDGE'S LIBRAR USE ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, The antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes. Ifyou have tired, aching feet, try Allen's Foot-Ease. It reats the feet and makes new or tight shoes easy. Cui ing. swollen, b ing feet. Relie corns and banions of all pa comfort. Always use it to Try it to-day.” Sold everywhere, 25 cts. accept any substitute. For FREE trial package, address Allen S. Olmsted. Le Roy, N. Y. PATENTS PRODUCE FORTUNES Prise for patents, Roo The goodness in Pears’ Soap is an antidote for all bad complexions. For goodness sake use | FICTION. 20 chapters equal one nib. 2 nibs equal 1 novel. Pears’. Sold in America and elsewhere. OREELET & In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated.