Judge — May 21, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITE. MABEL BARRISON, IN “LULU'S HUS- BANDS," MAXINE ELLIOTT’S THEATER, For every smile your smile is at command ; OTTO LANG 4" For every bow your curtsey is at hand; To ogling, flirting, frolic, fancy, chat, You are responsive, and give tit for tat! DIFFERENT KINDS OF GRAFTERS. A THEATRICAL DICTIONARY. Compiled by HARVEY PEAKE. P LAY (noun)—An inconsequential array of words, put to- gether by a dramatic carpenter for the purpose of giving heroic speeches and the center of the stage to the star if it be a man, and affording a chance to make at least eight changes of costume if it bea woman. Of no particular interest to play- goers, except as a means of exploiting favorite performers. Must always contain a hero, a heroess, a villain, and a villain- ess, and end happily at ten-thirty, in order to give the audience time to go to supper and get through before midnight. TRAGEDIAN (noun)—An actor who believes that bulging brows, long locks, and a sepulchral voice are the only necessary funny are immersed in immense chunks of profound gloom. The antithesis of the tragedian. ORCHESTRA (noun)—See Noise or Din. COMIC OPERA (noun)—A misnomer, being in no sense of the word comic, and having no music, in the true use of its meaning, to entitle it to the name opera. Largely made up of glitter and girls. Has very slight plot, used to wedge vaude- ville stunts apart. Usually divided into three acts, which may be runon in any sort of order without destroying the plot. The majority of the acting is done by sixteen or more chorus girls, who wriggle and scream through it, changing costumes for each number and running the sartorial gamut from arctic furs to nothing at all. SHOW GIRLS (noun) —Com- pounds of equal parts of Charles Dana Gibson drawings and animated wax cloak dummies, made on frame- work of solid brass. Divided into two classes—those who work for advancement and those who work the millionaires. Ad- dicted to slang and the use of the knife in eating, both of which they discard when they reach the sable coat and auto stage. PRIMA DONNA (noun)—A more or less calliope-like voice attached to a female bundle of contradictions, having the alleged artistic temperament. Remarkable for her ability to sing in every language but the one we under- stand, and for her ironclad determination to keep in the public eye at sny cost. Has been known to resort to all manner of things to bring this about, from losing an appendix to founding an American Beyreuth. Always gets a husband to match each new gown. ALARMING. Huckster (with ancient rooster)—' 0 worth that as an alarm clock in the morni Lady (with market basket)—‘ His long experience is doubtless very alarming, but I fear he would not ‘ go off well’ at dinner time.”” tragic essentials. In consequence, is screamingly funny in such roles as require other qualifications, notably, Hamlet, Romeo, and Mark Antony. Has a furtive look at all times, superin- duced by the fear of flying cold-storage eggs at night and un- appreciative freight trains by day. COMEDIAN (noun)—An actor whose intentions of being THE ALPHABET OF BASEBALL FANS. PITCHER BENDER, OF THE PHILADELPHIA AMERICANS. B ttands for the Indian Bender. ‘A boxman with style, curves and speed: ining the c A puzzle he is to the batters, ‘A credit he is to his team: May he last full a dozen more fifty cents, ma’am; he’s PERTINENT REVISION. 'EEDLES and pins, needles and pins, “STANDS ON ITS RECORD."'—President Taft, After divorce, alimony begins! comicbooks.com