Judge — May 21, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHANTECLER. ARY had a little chick, v feathers white as snow, And every time it saw Mary, That chick was sure to crow. But Mary went to gay New York, Saw fashion’s latest trick; Her pet is now perched on her hat, And Mary looks quite chic. SHE THOUGHT HE WOULD AN EASY QUESTION What in our garden plots doth thrive Each year against our will, E’en though the sj irit keeps alive, Dubbed “farmer? by our friends we strive So hard these same to kill? STAND A BETTER SHOW. «¢ TOHNNY, and sing like a little man.’” The song was ‘‘ Nearer, My God."’ jad the school commenced to sing than a little girl waved her hand Stopping the singing, the No soone> frantically. teacher inquired the cause. “* Please, teacher, I think Johnny will get nearer if he whistles.” CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES. Short one—* How far is it to Broxdway Long one—"" About ten minutes’ walk.” Short one—"* You mean for you or me?” A TOAST. Ol, the man with the hoe" He has gone long ago, And far in the past he fades; And the man who raked muck Had about the same luck— So here’s to the king of spades! A HINT TO GARDENERS. CCABBAGES should be planted in the full of the moon. Sow the seed lightly in black loam and keep covered with glass. A wine- glass inverted over each plant is an excellent way. NONE THERE. 4 QAY," exclaimed little-boy-at- grandpa’s-farm, “ the coun- try 's ull well enough, but I'd be willing to keep off the grass to get an ice-cream soda.”” said the teacher, “ here is abook. Now, stand up straight REFLECTIONS OF UNCLE EZRA. By ROY K, MOULTON. ANK PURDY says he has got a lot of distant relations, but the most distant one is his second cousin, Ren Purdy, who has owed him a half a dollar ever since the Spanish war, It ain't so much of a sign of aristoc- racy to have egg on your chin as it was two or three months ago. Here’s once when the path of true love ran smooth. A couple in Milwau- kee was married on roller skates. EXTRAVAGANCE. ISTRESS BESS, with tucked-up dress, How gayly your garden grows! But, gracious me! Why fleur-de-lis Embroidered on garden hose? CATCHING THE COMET. « GAY, PA!” “What is it? “ Did anybody ever put salt on the tail of Halley’s comet 2”" it?” NOT PREPARED TO SEE. Marjorie —* Didn't’ you see the mouse 2”” Madge see it. “Why, dear, I just couldn’t I had my old stockings on.”” N OPTIMIST is a fellow who can look forward to enjoying his unele's funeral when the uncle has left his for- tune to an orphan asylum. AS ADVERTISED. * Do you expect me to pay five cents for that poor shine ?"* “Sure, boss! All shines five cents."” Cap. Tobias bet his wooden leg agin Lafe Higgins's glass eye that Detroit will cop the American League pennant this year, and as Anse Stebbins is holdin’ the stakes in his safe, the two gentlemen are gettin’ around with consid’ble inconvenience. The only kind of an auto that Con- gress is willin’ to let Uncle Joe Cannon A MAN OF HIS WORD. “ Don't worry, you'll get your money; but I can’t pay you this month.”* “* That's what you told me last month." “ Well, haven't I kept my word ?”” have is an autobiography. Rev. Perkins, of the Hardshell church in our village, is lookin’ for a one-armed feller to pass the collection-plate. He ain’t makin’ any charges agin Deacon Jimkey, who has held the job up to this time, but further remarks is su- perfluous. Miss Amaryllis Teeter is think- in’ some of marryin’ a poet, but she had better not, as she will hardly be able to support her hus- band on the present salary she gets as bookkeeper at the horseradish factory. WORD in the mouth is worth two in the book. comicbooks.com