Judge — May 14, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE COURT CALENDAR: NAUGHTY DEEDS DIVISION. (September Session, A. D. 1930.) Com’th vs. Norine O’Shaugh- Failing to observe due cour- = ——— nessy, tesy while making arrest. | {||PRESIDENT TAFT [= va. Maria Strongarme, Husband beating. WHHL EXPRESS HIS CPmION] 77 vs. Transcontinental Failing to provide looking- R'y Company, glass, smelling salts, violet water, etc., in coaches. . Hiram Meeke, Using profane language while engaged in buttoning wife's dress. William Dash and Coquettishly and flippantly Sadie Snappe, kissing on election day. . Caroline Ann John- Failing to provide for hus- son (of color), band. . Max Souser, Remaining at lodge, club, or other masculine idling place until after ten p. m. vs. Tobe Serfe, Obstreperous conduct toward mother-in-law. vs. Molly Maguire, Carrying concealed deadly hatpin. vs. Gertie LaSeller, Chewing gum at social func- Son. s —SFioiee = HE DRESSMAKERS of Paris, London, and New York are already at work upon a new comedy for Miss Lillian Bustle for next season, the author of which has not yet been selected, but whose lines and situations may be counted upon to have the usual sartorial fitness. “NEVER AGAIN!" LOVE'S CARPENTRY. A BRYAN LITANY. AMMER—The rival who knocks, By LOUIS SCANEIDER, Plane—The caress that smooths the” NJ!NETY-SIX— the metal gray— rough edges of affection caused by a apron ey thorns and ‘* cross quarrel. Talk and travel, night and day, Saw—An instrument used by the di- Till the whole wide land is told. vorce court to shorten the boards of cing for faih and hope are high— matrimony. None wants office as do I— Rule—The course of conduct each of Sing my little Litany: ; two lovers expects the other to follow. “* Zeal like mine can never die !"* Pattern-—-What each of two lovers Nineteen hundred—same old thing; thinks he or she is. Anti-imperialism, too. ~ File—The comment of a mother-in-law. | Other issues quite a string— “DESSERTED BY HIS WIFE." Joiner—The parson who fastens the Take the wares are offered you. framework of love. Nothing doing! Then I'll try LOVE A LA BASEBALL. Lecture platforms. By and by By VANCE C. CRISS. Y Til repent my Litany: _ ACRIFICE HIT—Cutting out the dessert f Zeal like mine can never die! to save money for theater tickets. Nineteen four— Shut-out—When her father orders you to \N a ce stay away from the house. why !ororo ro br ody Three Balls and a Strike—Putting your , | : watch in ‘ soak ' for money for the orchids. Nineteen eight—well, let me see— ~ E 2. Railroad regulation plank! Called on Account of Darkness—When her suse paTatncant-—ah, teh mother turns on the porch light. Stung again! I draw a blank! Out at Home—When her father \ N Ni lea atawlne SBR? y id yes. = ineteen twelve is drawing nigh; says no, after she has said yes. : : Prohibition now I'll try. A High Fly—Masquerading as a Hear my time-worn Litany: nobleman to court an heiress. = |“ Zeal like mine can never die!"* = * Voters, of your charity, WOMAN. = Uf Pity my most luckless state! WOMAN'S heart, a woman's Thrice the party’s hoodoo I— mind, 5 : Bugaboo in triplicate! If they be good and true— 8 ; i a-titawl Why, there is naught that you can ot NM = Yet, despite this evil case, find ; i - And the party showed me grace, , js - ‘our-and-forty times wou! To half compare them to. ; : Sing thie little Litany: But if they’re false—ab, then is woe! 4 Zeal like mine can never. die! For ali creation’s span Holds not another thing so low— = : NEVER be in your place of busi- Not even fickle man. ness when a person wants to borrow money of you, because, if you are in, you will be out; but if you "Toee are songs without words, but never quarrels without words, ‘‘ WHAT DID HE DO TO PAPA'S LITTLE BOY?" are out, you will be in. comicbooks.com