Judge, 1910-05-07 · page 11 of 16
Judge — May 7, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Thoughts About Women"** presents 15 cynical aphorisms about female behavior, attributed to Norman Roe (editor of London's Vanity Fair). The humor relies on misogynistic stereotypes—women as vain, mercenary, and morally flexible. Example: "Women look upon the virtues as a sort of moral toilet—they choose those that suit them best." **Baseball references**: "Artie" Hofman and Frank Chance are depicted as Cubs players, mixing sports commentary with humor. **"The Straw Man"** cartoon shows a scarecrow controlling a donkey, with the punchline that this man is "the nicest man I ever met"—satirizing easily manipulated men or social hierarchy absurdities. **Other brief jokes** mock topics like Nicaragua's political instability, a convict's misunderstanding of medical advice ("take iron"), and observations about dating etiquette. The overall tone is lighthearted social commentary typical of Judge's satirical approach, blending sports, relationships, politics, and gender dynamics into brief, pointed jokes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ARTIE” HOFMAN, OF THE “CUBS.” A hit was needed to win the game, ‘Aad two were out Forth stepped a lad. Murray by To start a Tally was his aim: He punched the first ball as it came. For two were ou Pi outed all. ‘twill be a JUDGE THOUGHTS ABOUT WOMEN by NORMAN ROE (Eeitor of tbe London Vanity Fain) WHERE the devil cannot penetrate, he * sends a woman, . Two women in any company consti- tute a quorum; three, a riot. 3. La Belle Dame sans Merci was the beautiful woman who never said, ‘* Thank you!"? 4. A woman looks out for a soft billet nowadays rather than a billet doux. 5. A flirt is like the tower at Pisa—she is always inclined, but never falls. 6. Women look upon the virtues asa sort of moral toilet-—they choose those that suit them best. Bat Hotnan caught it in his mit z out!” Never wi lover for life’’—it is always so amusing to one’s successor ! 8, Many married couples nowadays have only one thing in common —an admiration for her beauty. 9. Women are riddles, and, like riddles, they cease to interest the moment one has guessed them. 10, Almost every man say’ world except my mother."* 11. The first time a woman loves, it is for what she can give; the next time it is for what she can get. 12. When a mother kisses her son, it is a declaration of war against all other women. When any of the other women kiss him, it is a declaration of war against himself. 13. It is foolish for some folk to maintain that it is not unlucky to marry on a Friday. Why should Friday be an ex- ception?, 14, When a woman has forgctien how to blush, she buys a fan; when her hands are too wrinkicd to hold the fan, she buys a blush. 15. At twenty-one you believe there is only one woman for you in the world. At forty-one you know it, but it is always the other one! HIS GIFT. Suitor—“ Surely your father would do something for us Doctor's daughter—* Indeed he would! He said that he would operate on you any time free of charge.”” ICARAGUA, according to re- port, has seized. a good many American schooners. What Nicara- gua needs is not a war, but a local- option election. FRANK CHANCE, OF THE “CUBS.” Thea old boy Frank Chance Hebeaged ot the ba The hungry colt ‘And hit it out almost a mile. ‘* There is not an honest woman in the to a woman as ‘* Your BY DOCTOR'S ORDERS. Vusitor—"* What brought you here, my poor man ?"" * Bad medical advice, siz. Visitor—* What?” Convict—" Yes, sir. De doctor told me ter take iron, an’ I tried ter take some from er boiler factory dey sent me here. PERFECT. 4 RUT his table manners are poor,” observed the old-fash- ioned mother. “Poor! Why, mamma!’? exclaims the dashing daughter. “* He took me to lunch with him at the St. Gorgeous, and or- dered nothing but the most expensive things on the menu THE EVOLUTION OF TIME AS THE FAN SEES IT. OW CAREFUL a man's gentlemen friends are to speak to him when he's walking along with a pretty girl! THE STRAW MAN. Man is certainly the horse's best friend, all right, and this is certainly the nicest man I ever met."’ comicbooks.com