Judge — April 30, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For the benefit of our women readers in the myriad homes where Junce is a favorite, we have entered into an arrangement with the f. Mr. Hik Hok. may go in perfect confidence to advice or comfort, as the case may demand MUSICAL » GRAN- Puppia ELECT with care a tenor with a high C and a soprano with a personality. ‘Add a judicious sprinkling of ordinary baritones, bassos, and a contralto. Strain all the voices carefully through a Wagner or Puccini score. Mix well with several tons of orchestration, col- ored lights, and realistic scenery. Keep stirring until it reaches the boiling point of at least one violent death. Garnish with artificial chorus and supers, and serve very hot in a horse- shoe of décolleté box-holders. SIGMUND OPERA ORCHESTRA HASH. Chop up several dozen stringed in-| struments mixed with sufficient wood | and brass to insure stability. Pound three tympani and a bass drum to a powdery consistency. Pour over this the juice of one Strauss, stirring ener- getically with a Mahler baton. let it simmer indefinitely. RECITAL FRAPPE. First pick out a large, ripe, heavy virtuoso, of the piano, voice, or violin type. Add an artistic growth of hair and a temperament (a wig will do for both). Squeeze out all the technique and eccentricity possible. Beat it tos self-satisfied consistency by inane ap-, plause, Set on a shelf to cool. j STRING QUARTET SALAD. Take equal portions of two violins, viola and cello, making sure that all are perfectly dry. Arrange neatly on an empty stage. Mix a dressing of clas- sical traditions, technical correctness, , and scholarly ideals, allowing the quar- tet to soak in it for several hours. Serve very cold. CLASSIC DANCE RAREBIT. Melt four shapely limbs in a cloud of diaphanous cheese cloth. Pour over all the spirit of ancient Greece. Let the | ‘NOTICE To Summer Resort Proprietors EVANS’ ALE Pieases Patrons and shows that you are up to date. Nigh Clase Places Sell High G GU UVANS & s0N8, Any perfect lady among our readers who has troubles of household or heart Mr. Hok, who will at intervals convey through these pages DEPART- MENT jamouseditor of The Perfect Ladies’ Companion, | RECEIPTS. ©. sparta. mixture thicken gradually, being care- ful to avoid stickiness, Seasor witha dash of red pepper and plenty of ginger. Dear Frienp Hik Hox—I am anx- ious to be a good bridge player, but, whenever I try to signal my partner I usually kick the limb of the table in- stead of my partner's foot and often tip the table in this way. Once I missed{ both his foot and the table limb, but I must have hit some one, for I received a severe kick in return. As you may imagine, this way of signaling is unsat- isfactory and even dangerous. Can you suggest a better scheme? —- RUTHIE. You are playing under last year’s rules, The kicking signal was abolished after one perfect lady holding a ‘‘hun-| dred aces"? sprained her ankle trying to stop her partner making it spades. It seems that he had a wooden leg and she | in her frenzy gave one despairing sig- nal. Usually one can hide a signal in a! commanplace sentence, and if subtly] done the opponents will never notice it. | For instance, desiring a heart trump, say, “My heart is yours"; for spades, | say, ‘Shovels dig holes, don’t they, partner?’ With a little thought other used, and your playing will steadily im- prove as you use your head more and! your feet less. THE HIRED GIRL. HOUGH she may be a greening, She's quick to perceive. When it looks like housecleaning, She gives notice to leave. DEEPLY IN’ Rois—"' Come here, young man. I have been gambling in Wall Street." Clerk—" Yes, sir. Bou" What! I made five hund: Where did you get your information ? CLEANI NG MOTHER GOOSE VERY MUCH UP-TO-DATE. It is understood that ‘the old woman who sweeps cobwebs from the sky'" has discarded her old basket and broom, and is now making use of an aeroplane and a nice new vacuum cleaner. DO MOVE AND DON'T. ON'T move, and look pleasant!” Says the photograph man, “ Move on,’ says the copper; “ And as fast as you can!" “ “Don’t move,’” says the burglar, As he plays with his gun. “ Move up,’" on the sofa, When you visit your ‘* Hon.”* “Don’t move,”’ says the landlord, If you've paid up the rent; “ Move out,”” he says later, When your dough is all'spent! Many physicians recommend Abbott's Bitters as a tonic. THE FINISHING TOUCH ROSSKLEIN lettered a card hung it out front : “We Keep the Best of Everything.”” Some wag penciled beneath, and phrases will be found which can be| “And Sell Other Folks the Shoddy !’" THE SUPERLATIVE LAUGHER By WILLIAM J. RORTSCHER HE LAUsus good Who laughs once; He laughs better Who laughs twice; He laughs best Who reads Jupce. TERESTED. have been told by good authority that you red dollars last week, sir." ! PIPE REVERIES. GREAT MEN do not drop out of the sky in evening dress. | All is not bliss that blisters. | Actors succeed stage by stage. A useful den these days is a garden. Don’t cold storage your eggs before they are laid. The team that loses plays one kind of base ball. POSTUM FOR MOTHERS. DRINK THAT NOURISHES AND SUP- FOOD FOR MOTHER AND CHILD. My husband has been unable to drink ‘coffee for several years, so we were very glad to give Postum’a trial, and when we understood that long boil- ing would bring out the delicious flavor, we have been highly pleased with it. “It is one of the finest things for nursing mothers that I have ever seen. \It keeps up the mother’s strength and increases the supply of nourishment for the child if partaken of freely. I drank it between meals instead of water and | found it most beneficial. “Our five-year-old boy has been very delicate since birth and has developed slowly. He was white and bloodless. I began to give him Postum freely and you would be surprised at the change. When any person remarks about the great improvement, we never fail to tell |them that we attribute his gain in strength and general health to the free use of Postum, and this has led many friends to use it for themselves and i children, “T huve always cautioned friends to whom I have spoken about Postum to follow directions in making it, for un- less it is boiled fifteen or twenty min- | utes it is quite tasteless. On the other hand, when properly made it is very (delicious. I want to thank you for the | benefits we have derived from the use of your Postum.’” Read ‘‘ The Road to Wellville,"’ found in packages. ‘* There’s a Reason.’"” Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to ime. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest. HOUSECLEANING. 4 OLEAN house?” Not on yer life! I knows a slicker way. I up an’ moves jes oncest a year, Upon the fust o” May! RYAN’S Commoner seems to be get- i ting more so all the time. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com